12 Things That Can Ruin Your First Time According To "New Girl"
And also the one thing that can make it PERFECT. Huge spoilers for this week's episode.
Needing additional apparatus to get out of your clothes.
Too much lube. Like an industrial sized jar of lube.
Accepting help from your roommate no matter how well-meaning they are.
Also any wrastlin' breaks that aren't with the person you are planning on having sex with.
Sleeping with a hooker paid for by your best friend's dad.
And not realizing it till a decade later.
Getting stuck inside a toy castle on a playground.
Because the park bench you first tried to have sex on was occupied by a corpse.
Also if the person you're trying to have sex with confesses that they might be gay while being rescued by firemen.
But you know what will make the whole experience rainbows and sunshine and boxes of kittens like? NOT THINKING ABOUT IT.
NO SERIOUSLY LOOK AT ALL THIS NOT THINKING ABOUT IT!!!
EVERYTHING'S PERFECT AND NOTHING HURTS.
Until you realize that maybe...you might have to deal with the repercussions of not thinking about it.
Bonus! The one thing that will never ruin sex. Breakfast!
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