Hi hello, welcome to Night Vale, your new fanatic obsession.
1.The town of Night Vale is insanely weird and wonderful and most importantly way better than stupid neighboring Desert Bluffs.
2.This is Cecil Baldwin, the voice of Night Vale Radio.
He's our narrator and intrepid radio host of Night Vale Community Radio. We don't know exactly what he looks like but fandom tends to draw him with an epic all-seeing third eye, moving tattoos, and, on occasion, some friendly tentacles. He's always dapper though. The best thing about Cecil? He basically only has has two modes: TEENAGE FANGIRL!!1! (especially when it comes to crushes and levitating kitties) and here are today's quiet contemplations of the twilight zone that is the very essence of Night Vale.
3.He's even willing to incur the wrath of NVCR Management to bring you the news.
4.Night Vale has a newly opened Dog Park. DO NOT GO IN THE DOG PARK.
5.Cecil's in love with a perfectly coiffed man of science named Carlos.
Yes that's right, the main love story on Welcome to Night Vale is of two beautiful gay men, one of whom is canonically a person of color. He sciences, scientifically, with a team of scientists next to Big Rico's (THE BEST AND ONLY PLACE TO GET A SLICE OF PIZZA) and though confused by Cecil's immediate infatuation for him, is ultimately as charmed as we are. The most important thing to know about Carlos is that he is perfect, his hair is perfect, and if Telly the Barber wants to continue his pathetic existence he will never go near Carlos' perfect beautiful hair ever again.
[Ed.: If it sweetens the pot, our headcannon for him is basically Mark Ruffalo's Bruce Banner.]
6.But Cecil's not all sweet; he'll call you a bitch if you act like a bitch.
7.Despite a few exceptions however, Night Vale is very much an all inclusive town for both corporeal and non-corporeal forms alike.
8.THE WEATHER REPORTS!!!
9.And most importantly the show has great insight into your life, even if you're already slightly dead.
10.Because in all honesty: Not everyone makes it out alive.