1. You know that the moment when the lights go down and the first note begins and everyone freaks out is overrated.
2. You're tired of witnessing awesome displays of humanity.
The folks who make room for you to dance and get in your zone? The wooooorst.
3. You feel like watching talented people absolutely dominate their craft isn't very moving.
You might as well just watch paint dry.
4. And you find all that shared enthusiasm in one space so exhausting.
It's much better to listen to music on your morning commute, all alone and holding in absolutely everything you're feeling.
5. You know that meeting the band after the show never is and never will be worth the wait.
6. You think that grabbing a cute stranger to dance with is basically the least fun thing in the world.
7. You hate when the band surprises the crowd with an amazing cover song that everyone knows the words to.
8. There are never any opportunities to discover new artists in the scene when you go to shows.
It's literally always the same band. Every single show.
9. You could seriously do without meeting the band and their rad crew at merch tables.
10. You find that there's just no energy in live music.
Performers have been replaced with headphones for a reason, amirite?
11. And you don't really need to release all of your pent-up energy. Like, ever.
12. You don't feel a thing when you push to the front and make eye contact with someone on stage.
13. You have too many friends as is, and shows are where you almost always make new ones.
14. You're so over the moment when the band stops and the entire crowd is singing the lyrics.
15. You think the band playing your absolute favorite song for their encore happens way too often.
16. You think being in a space where you can let loose and be yourself isn't anything special.
Like, you might as well be at the office.