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19 Ways You Know You're Not The Youngest Person At The Bar Anymore

I'm getting too old for this.

1. You're exhausted before you even leave the house.

2. You show up when the dance floor is still empty.

3. You actually arrive sober.

4. You look at people and worry about how they're going to get home.

5. You don't ALWAYS order the cheapest beer.

6. You don’t drink too much because you "have to be able to function at work tomorrow."

7. You start to wonder if the music has always been this loud.

8. You no longer hope strangers will offer to buy you drinks.

9. You notice all the weird shit the drunk people around you are doing.

10. You don't bother getting dressed up anymore.

11. You spend most of your time talking about how stressful work is...

12. ... Or about current events.

13. You're completely disinterested in going home with anyone.

14. While everyone else is chugging beers, you're ordering appetizers.

15. When you get carded on the outside you're like:

16. But on the inside you're like:

17. The idea of taking a shot totally disgusts you.

18. Instead of drunk texting you catch up on emails.

19. And you always leave before last call.

Do you, grandma. Do you.