Here's How To Spot A F*ckboy In The Wild

#TheMoreYouKnow

Posted on

Spotting a fuckboy in the wild can be a tricky business. Since their origin, fuckboys have evolved and adapted to disguise themselves as eligible mates.

Some fuckboys make their fuckboydom known immediately by their method of transportation.

Crystal Ro for BuzzFeed

Common Methods Of Transportation: Driving in a car with an attached spoiler, a questionable personalized license plate, a muffler cutout, and tinted windows.

Alternatively, many fuckboys do not have a car and will ask you for a ride.

Other fuckboys have specific physical attributes that let potential mates and fellow fuckboys in their pack know they are in fact, a fuckboy. Here, we have the "You'll Be Hearing From My Father" fuckboy.

Crystal Ro for BuzzFeed

Physical Characteristics: Wears Vineyard Vines, Polo, Ralph Lauren, boat shoes, salmon shorts, and essentially any brand that displays wealth.

Behavioral Characteristics: Has a family house he frequently "summers" at, will swish around and deeply inhale wine before drinking it without knowing the reason for doing so, and still talks about whatever sport he was semi-OK at in college or high school.

While the "You'll Be Hearing From My Father" fuckboy is a popular breed, there are several other notable breeds. Here, we have the "I'll Grab Your Ass at the Club" fuckboy.

Crystal Ro for BuzzFeed

Physical Characteristics: Typically wears a fedora, gold chains, snakeskin shoes, and an unbuttoned silk shirt that displays a good amount of chest hair.

Behavioral Characteristics: He thinks that just because it's dark in the club/bar, you won't know it's his hand, talks about getting bottle service but never does, and has a picture online with "Hooters" girls.

The "Fitness Fuckboy" often has a high success rate among mates, primarily because of their caveman-like tendencies and aesthetically pleasing body.

Crystal Ro for BuzzFeed

Physical Characteristics: Tan year-round regardless of the season, chiseled abs, and a shaved chest (optional).

Behavioral Characteristics: Constantly carries a protein shake, offers "tips" on how to lift at the gym, considers pizza a "cheat meal," and cannot walk by a mirror or reflective surface without checking himself out.

If a fuckboy doesn't fall into a certain breed, there are other telling signs of their fuckboy-ness.

Crystal Ro for BuzzFeed

They may...

– Wear white sunglasses

– Have a Fox Racing tattoo

– Have a misspelled or grammatically incorrect tattoo

– Wear plaid cargo shorts

– Wear Axe body spray

– Use excessive amounts of hair gel

If you meet someone who does not physically appear to be a fuckboy, you must also watch out for the behavioral signs of fuckboydom.

Crystal Ro for BuzzFeed

A fuckboy...

– Likes your Instagram but doesn't text you back

– Thinks stoplights are a great place to talk to women

– Has at least two mirror pictures on social media

– Posts memes on Instagram

– Uses Snapchat as his preferred method of communication

– Says things like, "The problem with feminism is..."

While fuckboys are still fairly undeveloped — and arguably harmless — creatures, we must beware of them to prevent accidental mating, which could lead to the procreation of future generations of fuckboys.