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    21 Times Amy Schumer Perfectly Described Being A Woman

    I have to be honest. I don't enjoy a dick pic.

    1. On dating someone new:

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    2. On having a glass of wine at the end of the day:

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    Glass of wine/bowl of wine, same thing.

    3. On the important things in life:

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    First runner-up aka first loser.

    4. On eating in public:

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    No. I do not want to "split something."

    5. On the art of sexting:

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    That sounds good.

    6. And on taking the perfect picture:

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    Nailed it.

    7. On what having a pet really entails:

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    "You are a burden."

    8. On spending a night in:

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    Nothing wrong with flying solo on Friday night.

    9. On setting goals:

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    "Aspiring Dog Walker"

    10. On being sexually open:

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    So what if she wants the D?

    11. On working out:

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    I worked out for five minutes, so I think I'll call it a day.

    12. On getting old:

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    13. On what really happens when men and women have sex:

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    14. On getting revenge:

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    "I hope that the next time you go to a concert that the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear."

    15. Seriously though... could you wish anything worse on someone?

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    "I hope the next time you watch an episode of Homeland the DVR cuts out before you see scenes from next week."

    16. On dick pics:

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    17. On the truth about the fascination with butts:

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    Milk, milk, lemonade, 'round the corner fudge is made.

    18. On religion:


    I mean... if you could just help me out, that would be great.

    19. And on being an extroverted person:

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    "People usually need a couple drinks just to get through a conversation with me."

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