1. Do you ever look at a diaper and just think, "Is this child worth it?"
2. Is childbirth really beautiful? Or is it kinda disgusting and slightly terrifying?
3. Did you realize how much your kid was going to cost before you had one?
4. Do you ever wish you could buy a trip to Europe instead of paying for tuition, etc.?
5. Have you tried baby food? And if so, did you enjoy any of it?
6. Do you feel bad feeding your baby puréed vegetables that look like shit?
7. If you breastfed, did you ever try your own breast milk?
8. When your kid cries in public, do you want to cry also?
9. Do you hope your kid doesn't finish their meal so you get to eat it?
10. Do you like other kids, or just your own?
11. Would you say your sex life was better before or after kids?
12. Do you ever wish you could take a day off?
13. Why do you say how much your baby weighs in ounces?
14. And why do you say how old your child is in months, even after a year?
15. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does the cleanliness of your child's room affect your happiness?
16. Why do you tag your children in random pictures on Facebook that they're not in?
17. How did you figure out how the hell to raise another human?
18. And why do you "check in" so often on Facebook?
19. Would you ACTUALLY want your kid to tell you if they were having sex?
20. Would you eat your placenta for health benefits?
21. Do you actually think your kid is the most special kid in the world?
22. Do you always like your child?
23. Do you ever just turn on the TV so they'll be quiet?
24. Do you ever wish you could order a kids meal at a restaurant for yourself?
25. How many likes did you get on your pregnancy announcement?
26. Do you ever troll people by asking them to hold your baby if you know they don't like kids?
27. When you talk about your kid, are you just itching to take your phone out and show pictures?
28. And are you running out of storage on your phone from those pictures?
29. Has your child ever given you a drawing and you had no clue what it was supposed to be?
30. Do you pretend to see a face when your doctor points it out in the ultrasound? Do you actually just see a blob?
31. Do you feel like a goddamn hero every day for putting up with everything you do?
32. Does it ever scare the shit out of you that you're literally responsible for someone's life?
33. Or is that the coolest feeling in the world?