77 Thoughts I Had While Watching Season 5, Episode 2 Of "Game Of Thrones"

"Do you think she's safe with Littlefinger?" ...Pretty sure no one would be safe chillin' with someone named Littlefinger.

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1. I kinda forgot Arya was on a boat to Braavos.

2. When I was 13, I was afraid to go to the mall alone and this girl's traveling across the big blue ocean solo. Pretty badass.

3. I think the Game of Thrones intro was made to be the perfect amount of time to get a glass of wine.

4. Yessss opening scene with Arya. I'm about it.

5. Maisie Williams seems cool IRL too.

6. Not that I've ever met her. But we'd probably be friends if I did.

7. I like the dude rowing the boat's turquoise ring. Very Free People of him.

8. He just drops her off at this enormous cement building/house. Not intimidating at all.

9. This guy's like, "Who da fuq are you?"

10. "You have everywhere else to go." Dude, she's literally on your isolated island/house. She's really got nowhere else to go.

11. Arya, don't throw your magic coin in the water. Some Pirates of the Caribbean shit is gonna activate.

12. Podrick is seriously so bae.

13. OMG SANSA IS IN THE SAME PUB AS BRIE.

14. This "Ale?" waitress's voice really annoys me and I don't know why. Maybe I'm hungry.

15. Sansa looks so fierce this season.

16. Brienne is like trying to be cool but actually peeing her pants that Sansa's there.

17. "He was murdered by a shadow." Yeah that's not going to be well-received, Brie.

18. Littlefinger just can't pull off the white streak like Rogue from X-Men can.

19. And Sansa Stark refuses Brienne's help, knocks herself down five pegs on my list of characters I like.

20. OH SHIT. Brienne is a boss-ass bitch.

21. But also, like maybe let Podrick in on the plan. If I were him I would have been going to the bathroom and missed the escaping the pub memo.

22. And of course Podrick picks the feral horse that's going to run into a river.

23. OMG Podrick just thew a rock at someone to defend himself. I'm going to cry.

24. Brienne grunts a lot when she's kicking ass.

25. "Do you think she's safe with Littlefinger?" I don't think anyone would be safe chillin' with someone named Littlefinger.

26. If I got a gift basket like that from Dorne I'd be crying too.

27. Cersei should go to Dorne and bring Marcella back herself. Lady can just start breathing fire and scoop her up.

28. I forgot about Bronn.

29. Who's this thot he's hanging out with talking about pigeon pie?

30. Ohhh OK. Bronn is doing some serious gold-digging.

31. I am ~swooning~ over Jamie Lannister in that brown leather jacket.

32. Bronn looks like he's got a bad fake tan.

33. Ohhh shit. Oberyn's girl has got vengeance in her eyes.

34. I like her short hair though.

35. Maybe I'll cut my hair short...

36. I can't tell if Oberyn's brother is paralyzed or just sitting incredibly still in this scene.

37. Seriously, dude hasn't moved his arms at all.

38. Daario is on the screen. Stop everything.

39. OMG HE JUST STABS THE WALL AND SOME DUDE'S CHILLIN' IN IT.

40. Grey Worm is like, "Dammit. Why didn't I think to stab the wall?"

41. Ser Barristan just gently breaking the news to Daenerys that her dad was a psycho.

42. I'm so on board with Tyrion continuing this lumbersexual look.

43. But maybe not the alcoholic look.

44. Cersei is seriously killing all the dwarves?

45. I can't deal with Grand Maester Creepy.

46. And who's this sketchy new master of whispers?

47. "You are the queen mother, nothing more." Dude's got balls (that Cersei will prob chop off).

48. UGH, not a Sam scene.

49. Gilly is the girl from Skins, right?

50. I didn't know Shireen's disease/skin condition was called greyscale. Huh.

52. But actually Shireen is the cutest little girl ever.

52. It's too bad her mom is a crazy bitch.

53. Jon Snow is such a babe it's hard to follow the dialogue in his scenes.

54. OMG just got chills when Stannis just said "Jon Stark."

55. "I swore a vow to the Night's Watch." Bro, where was that vow when you were getting it on in the cave with Ygritte?

56. Oh boy. Sam's gonna nominate Jon Snow as Lord Commander.

57. Jon's sitting there like, "Dude, don't."

58. Jon Snow's face while Sam is talking is how mine looks when people sing "Happy Birthday" to me.

59. Anddd Arya beheads a pigeon. Badass.

60. Arya isn't about to take shit from these Braavos frat bros.

61. I want to go to Braavos and learn to be a shapeshifter.

62. Who is this boy trying to take justice into his own hands?

63. Mhysa is kinda a creepy pet name for a ruler though.

64. I love this new white dress Dany is wearing.

65. Can we get another Daario ass scene up in here, please?

66. If Dany is going to behead someone she should do it Ned Stark–style and do it herself.

67. And now they're hissing at her? This is terrifying.

68. Girl needs to GTFO of this city.

69. After a day like that she needs some Daario action.

70. Awww, Drogon is back.

71. Ugh, just remembered Drogon is named after Khal Drogo.

72. Still not over that.

73. Andddd her dragon just peaces, rude.

74. Can't you pick up on the vibe that your mom needs some consoling, Drogon?

75. There wasn't nearly enough Daario ass this episode.

76. And also need some more Grandma Tyrell scheming, please.

77. And also, bring Khal Drogo back. Thanks.