back to top

21 Ways You Got Drunk In College That Will Haunt You For Life

Why yes! I'd love some jungle juice from THE TRASH CAN.

Posted on

1. Drinking jungle juice from a literal trash can.

2. Deciding the best way to drink beer was UPSIDE DOWN.

3. Carrying around a staff which seemed like an excellent idea after the fourth beer.

4. Duct-taping 40s to your hand because you didn't want to be able to physically escape your intoxication.

5. Smuggling mini bottles wherever you could hide them to save money at sporting events/bars/clubs.

6. Drinking beer pong beer that had a nice mix of hair, dirt, and backwash in it.

7. Or funneling a beer until it came out of your nose.

8. Taking full advantage of your college town's dollar/penny/quarter beer special.

9. Or slapping the bag like a true professional.

10. Drinking any shot with a vulgar title (star-fucker, buttery nipple, dirty girl scout, etc.).

11. Having one of the many terrifying UV vodka flavors.

12. Ruining your childhood by infusing gummy bears with vodka that tasted like rubbing alcohol.

13. Or tricking yourself into thinking something tastes better when it's dyed the color of Skittles.

14. Ruining perfectly good fruit with perfectly horrific alcohol.

15. Like seriously, destroying anything with any nutritional value.

16. And trying to consume alcohol in every form of matter it could possibly take.

17. Drinking tall boys until you fell down.

18. And rehydrating yourself with the refreshing taste of Bud Water.

19. Setting yourself up for the worst hangover of your life with Carlo Rossi.

20. Or hitting up that one spot where you could get a scorpion bowl without being carded.

21. Drinking booze from a helmet (which you would probably need later on, anyway).