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A Formal Petition To Bring Free Airplane Food Back

"You know what don't get no respect? Airplane food." —Michael Scott

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Recently, I flew from L.A. to Boston (about a six-hour flight). Unlike most normal humans, I LOVE airplane food, so I fasted before my flight in anticipation of getting a delicious steaming plate of mystery chicken to tide me over.

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But much to my dismay, all I got was a measly bag of pretzels and a half cranberry/half ice-cube cocktail.

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I was devastated.

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So you might be thinking: Who cares? Airplane food is gross.

Well, sorry, you're wrong. This. Shit. Is. Gourmet.

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Is that a Caprese salad I see? YEP.

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I mean, come on. Tell me this isn't a damn food pyramid on a plate.

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I mean, I have no clue what this meal is — but I'm totally here for it.

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But unfortunately for my fellow sickos who love airplane food, most airlines no longer offer free meals.

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So consider this my formal petition to bring airplane food back. For the good of me, the people, and everyone who loves chicken in mystery sauce.

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That is all. Thanks.

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