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A Formal Petition To Bring Free Airplane Food Back

"You know what don't get no respect? Airplane food." —Michael Scott

Recently, I flew from L.A. to Boston (about a six-hour flight). Unlike most normal humans, I LOVE airplane food, so I fasted before my flight in anticipation of getting a delicious steaming plate of mystery chicken to tide me over.

But much to my dismay, all I got was a measly bag of pretzels and a half cranberry/half ice-cube cocktail.

I was devastated.

So you might be thinking: Who cares? Airplane food is gross.

Well, sorry, you're wrong. This. Shit. Is. Gourmet.

Is that a Caprese salad I see? YEP.

I mean, come on. Tell me this isn't a damn food pyramid on a plate.

I mean, I have no clue what this meal is — but I'm totally here for it.

This? Hell yeah, I'm down.

But unfortunately for my fellow sickos who love airplane food, most airlines no longer offer free meals.

So consider this my formal petition to bring airplane food back. For the good of me, the people, and everyone who loves chicken in mystery sauce.

That is all. Thanks.