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Here's What Happens When You Try The Most Popular Retouching Apps On Instagram

I definitely did not wake up like this.

Posted on
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

For most of us, when you're trying to get a good Instagram, your phone ends up looking like this:

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

And chances are, no matter how hard you try to "find your light," your picture doesn't end up looking like this:

instagram.com

And it probably doesn't get 1.4 million likes either, but whatever.

After countless double-taps of flawless pictures with beautiful skin and perfectly contoured cheekbones, I thought to myself, Why don't MY pictures look like that?

Then I saw this post, and I realized there are about 456 apps designed to get that ~flawless~ picture.

instagram.com

So I (a mere plebeian) decided to try out seven different apps to show how easy ~technology~ makes it to take a deceivingly perfect selfie. For each app, I used the "auto-enhance" feature, as well as the enhancement the app is known for.

1.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: This app is a big favorite among ~celebs~ like Kim Kardashian. It allows you to smooth your skin, erase blemishes, whiten teeth, and completely reshape your face (if you're into that). I was also able to erase my nose ring super easily, which my mom would have been thrilled about.

What it made me look like: I wasn't crazy about my end look. I thought I looked like a weird porcelain doll straight out of a horror movie. Also, FaceTune was one of the apps I actually had to purchase for the very steep price of $3.99. (Seriously, I could have bought cookies from Trader Joe's with that money.)

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: This app is a big favorite among ~celebs~ like Kim Kardashian. It allows you to smooth your skin, erase blemishes, whiten teeth, and completely reshape your face (if you're into that). I was also able to erase my nose ring super easily, which my mom would have been thrilled about.

What it made me look like: I wasn't crazy about my end look. I thought I looked like a weird porcelain doll straight out of a horror movie. Also, FaceTune was one of the apps I actually had to purchase for the very steep price of $3.99. (Seriously, I could have bought cookies from Trader Joe's with that money.)

← Slide →
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: This app is a big favorite among ~celebs~ like Kim Kardashian. It allows you to smooth your skin, erase blemishes, whiten teeth, and completely reshape your face (if you're into that). I was also able to erase my nose ring super easily, which my mom would have been thrilled about.

What it made me look like: I wasn't crazy about my end look. I thought I looked like a weird porcelain doll straight out of a horror movie. Also, FaceTune was one of the apps I actually had to purchase for the very steep price of $3.99. (Seriously, I could have bought cookies from Trader Joe's with that money.)

Here's what was edited:

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

2.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: This app allows you to actually change the shape of your face completely, with features like face-slimming, cheekbone-lifting, and eye-enlarging. The creepiest part? You can even DEEPEN your smile/make it more intense. Which is... scary.

What it made me look like: If "Perfect365" means you're perfect 365 days of the year, I'd say a more appropriate app for me to use would be like, "Perfect20."

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: This app allows you to actually change the shape of your face completely, with features like face-slimming, cheekbone-lifting, and eye-enlarging. The creepiest part? You can even DEEPEN your smile/make it more intense. Which is... scary.

What it made me look like: If "Perfect365" means you're perfect 365 days of the year, I'd say a more appropriate app for me to use would be like, "Perfect20."

← Slide →
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: This app allows you to actually change the shape of your face completely, with features like face-slimming, cheekbone-lifting, and eye-enlarging. The creepiest part? You can even DEEPEN your smile/make it more intense. Which is... scary.

What it made me look like: If "Perfect365" means you're perfect 365 days of the year, I'd say a more appropriate app for me to use would be like, "Perfect20."

Here's what was edited:

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

3.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: I have to admit I kinda love this app. I'm always thinking about playing around with my hair color, and this is a cool, noncommittal way to test things out. However, I would imagine with curly, more textured hair, it would be harder to get a perfect outline of the hair.

What it made me look like: I was like punk-rock girl band meets mermaid, and you know, I'm sorta digging that style. It did make me wonder if my fave Insta-celebs ACTUALLY color their hair that often. But regardless...I still might go turquoise.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: I have to admit I kinda love this app. I'm always thinking about playing around with my hair color, and this is a cool, noncommittal way to test things out. However, I would imagine with curly, more textured hair, it would be harder to get a perfect outline of the hair.

What it made me look like: I was like punk-rock girl band meets mermaid, and you know, I'm sorta digging that style. It did make me wonder if my fave Insta-celebs ACTUALLY color their hair that often. But regardless...I still might go turquoise.

← Slide →
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: I have to admit I kinda love this app. I'm always thinking about playing around with my hair color, and this is a cool, noncommittal way to test things out. However, I would imagine with curly, more textured hair, it would be harder to get a perfect outline of the hair.

What it made me look like: I was like punk-rock girl band meets mermaid, and you know, I'm sorta digging that style. It did make me wonder if my fave Insta-celebs ACTUALLY color their hair that often. But regardless...I still might go turquoise.

What was edited:

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

4.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: Modiface allows you to chose from different makeup palettes and then it basically does all the work for you. It added eyeshadow, blush, lipstick, mascara. It also slimmed my nose and face down quite a bit (which, like, I didn't know I needed but COOL, THANKS). The creepiest part of this app was the pre-fixed editing packages that were labeled "Slimdown" and "Young."

What it made me look like: I mean, if I wanted to be an anime character this app would be my jam.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: Modiface allows you to chose from different makeup palettes and then it basically does all the work for you. It added eyeshadow, blush, lipstick, mascara. It also slimmed my nose and face down quite a bit (which, like, I didn't know I needed but COOL, THANKS). The creepiest part of this app was the pre-fixed editing packages that were labeled "Slimdown" and "Young."

What it made me look like: I mean, if I wanted to be an anime character this app would be my jam.

← Slide →
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: Modiface allows you to chose from different makeup palettes and then it basically does all the work for you. It added eyeshadow, blush, lipstick, mascara. It also slimmed my nose and face down quite a bit (which, like, I didn't know I needed but COOL, THANKS). The creepiest part of this app was the pre-fixed editing packages that were labeled "Slimdown" and "Young."

What it made me look like: I mean, if I wanted to be an anime character this app would be my jam.

Here's what was edited:

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

5.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: Though this app didn't change the actual shape of my face like the others, I would still say the change was pretty drastic. Unlike the other apps, this one is less customized and does all the "beautifying" for you. After you're made into a beautiful plastic human, all you have to do is pick a filter.

What it made me look like: Look, I know I look like a plastic doll in the final product but in like a "holy-shit-that's-a-hot-doll" way. So I kinda do get why people fall into editing the crap out of their pictures when the end result is like looking into the lifeless eyes of the Barbie you always wanted to be.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: Though this app didn't change the actual shape of my face like the others, I would still say the change was pretty drastic. Unlike the other apps, this one is less customized and does all the "beautifying" for you. After you're made into a beautiful plastic human, all you have to do is pick a filter.

What it made me look like: Look, I know I look like a plastic doll in the final product but in like a "holy-shit-that's-a-hot-doll" way. So I kinda do get why people fall into editing the crap out of their pictures when the end result is like looking into the lifeless eyes of the Barbie you always wanted to be.

← Slide →
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: Though this app didn't change the actual shape of my face like the others, I would still say the change was pretty drastic. Unlike the other apps, this one is less customized and does all the "beautifying" for you. After you're made into a beautiful plastic human, all you have to do is pick a filter.

What it made me look like: Look, I know I look like a plastic doll in the final product but in like a "holy-shit-that's-a-hot-doll" way. So I kinda do get why people fall into editing the crap out of their pictures when the end result is like looking into the lifeless eyes of the Barbie you always wanted to be.

Here's what was edited:

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

6.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: BeautyPlus is one of the more popular editing apps in Asia, and the features on it really reflect some Asian beauty ideals: whiter skin, larger eyes, and a more flawless complexion.

What it made me look like: I clicked the auto-enhance button and was shocked to see how much paler it made me. I mean, I'm already pretty DANG pale to start. Also, to take the creepy factor over the top, my eyes got insanely large and some weird little floating hearts were added.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: BeautyPlus is one of the more popular editing apps in Asia, and the features on it really reflect some Asian beauty ideals: whiter skin, larger eyes, and a more flawless complexion.

What it made me look like: I clicked the auto-enhance button and was shocked to see how much paler it made me. I mean, I'm already pretty DANG pale to start. Also, to take the creepy factor over the top, my eyes got insanely large and some weird little floating hearts were added.

← Slide →
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: BeautyPlus is one of the more popular editing apps in Asia, and the features on it really reflect some Asian beauty ideals: whiter skin, larger eyes, and a more flawless complexion.

What it made me look like: I clicked the auto-enhance button and was shocked to see how much paler it made me. I mean, I'm already pretty DANG pale to start. Also, to take the creepy factor over the top, my eyes got insanely large and some weird little floating hearts were added.

Here's what was edited:

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

7.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: So with this app, you can shrink the size of your actual head. And your forehead. And your chin. And your ENTIRE FACE. Basically, this app is just trying to turn us all into tiny little baby humans without any fat on our bodies.

What it made me look like: I HATE THIS APP. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I HATE THE NAME. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. (Sorry, I will take off caps lock now.) But yeah, I really hated this because it made me feel like there were things I wasn't originally insecure about that maybe I should be.

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: So with this app, you can shrink the size of your actual head. And your forehead. And your chin. And your ENTIRE FACE. Basically, this app is just trying to turn us all into tiny little baby humans without any fat on our bodies.

What it made me look like: I HATE THIS APP. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I HATE THE NAME. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. (Sorry, I will take off caps lock now.) But yeah, I really hated this because it made me feel like there were things I wasn't originally insecure about that maybe I should be.

← Slide →
Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

What the app does: So with this app, you can shrink the size of your actual head. And your forehead. And your chin. And your ENTIRE FACE. Basically, this app is just trying to turn us all into tiny little baby humans without any fat on our bodies.

What it made me look like: I HATE THIS APP. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I HATE THE NAME. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. (Sorry, I will take off caps lock now.) But yeah, I really hated this because it made me feel like there were things I wasn't originally insecure about that maybe I should be.

Here's what was edited:

Kirsten King for BuzzFeed

Moral of the story? Even if you look less like this when you wake up...

...and more like this*...

NBC

*But actually Rashida Jones looks so damn good still.

...you should rock your look and know that you don't NEED these editing apps to be ~flawless.~

jennamarblesblog.com

Chances are, you look way better without bug eyes, anyway.

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