So this is my brother, Tyler, and I. We're just two nerds who have played more Guitar Hero than we'd care for you to know.
But despite our 11-year age gap, we still manage to get into some pretty ~deep~ convos.
Since Tyler is clearly wise beyond his years, I figured who better to ask for counsel on my own love life?
What do you think love feels like?
Tyler: I don't know — like eating banana bread or something. All types of desserts, really. Pie and stuff.
Kirsten: Like pie?
Tyler: Yeah, desserts in general. Maybe you get excited around them, like when you see there's banana bread, yano?
What's a good idea for a first date?
Tyler: Burger King is good. Mini-golf or SkyZone. Or there's this like bounce house thing without a roof and no sides. It's so cool...
*we got off-topic talking about this place for a while*
How often should you text a person you like?
Tyler: Ummm, not that often. Because then they'll know that you like them. If you're only in, like, the sixth grade, you should keep [the relationship] private until you're, like...in high school.
Kirsten: OK. But for me — how often should I text someone I like?
Tyler: Well, you're always on your phone anyway, so you can text them pretty often.
Kirsten: Thanks for the call-out.
Tyler: You're welcome.
How do you know that you like a person?
Tyler: You know, I don't know. I really have no clue. I don't like anyone in my grade right now.
When do you think is a good age to get married?
Tyler: I think probably about 27 or 28. Or, like, in your early twenties — so if you guys get divorced you have a chance to get married again.
Kirsten: That's so sad! That means I need to start looking, I guess.
Tyler: That's life.
How can you show another person you like them?
Tyler: Well, in my grade, all the people that are dating text each other and tell them that they like them and then they ask the person out by text.
Tyler: Yeah, It's kinda stupid.
Kirsten: What about for people my age?
Tyler: If you're your age, you should be nice to them — and hang out with them a lot, so then they might start liking you.
If someone responds to you "K," what does it mean?
Tyler: Well, I would think it means "kill." Does it mean something? I think it definitely means they're angry if they do it in caps. It means they're yelling.
Kirsten: You basically hit the nail on the head.
What can you do to get the person you like to pay more attention to you?
Tyler: You could prank people in front of them to make them laugh. And if they aren't into that and they're just all nice you could just try being nice, I guess. But I would prefer the pranks.
Kirsten: That sounds like a good idea.
What are the best qualities in a person to date?
Tyler: I have no clue, Kirsten. There's no way I'm going to know that question — I'm only 12.
Kirsten: Nothing? No personality things?
Tyler: I guess they should be funny, beautiful, and smart. All three of those.
For me specifically, what type of person should I date?
Tyler: He would have to be a guy who's on American Ninja Warrior or something — because that show is awesome. He should probably have nice hair, too. And they would have to be nice to me, obviously.
If someone asks me to, “Netflix and chill,” should I do it?
Tyler: If it's someone that might be interested in me, I would say no. You'd just be like sitting there, and every time you look away... they move closer. But I would say yes if it was a friend.
Kirsten: You are truly wise beyond your years.