I remember when life was hard. And by “hard,” I mean my problems consisted of the emerging zit on my face, my inability to straighten the underside of my hair, and my nomination as vice president of the “itty-bitty-titty committee.” Ah yes, life was hard indeed. I was asking myself some real existential questions. Did my crush like me? Did I look as good as my classmate in that Limited Too shirt? My decisions affected lives –that is, those of my chia pet, sea monkeys, and tamagotchi.
Here are the top 10 problems we suffered through:
3. 2. Mom is on the phone and I want to use the internet!
Reeeee——eeeerrrr-aw-eee-o. What’s that noise? A dying raccoon? Nope, just your dial-up connection. Waiting for dial-up was like waiting for line at the DMV, and when Mom took a phone call and kicked you off, it was back to the end of the line.
8. 7. Do I really have to follow through with a sexual deed if someone snaps my plastic bracelet?
I don’t know what sexually-advanced town the bracelet snapping trend emerged from, but all of the sudden everyone was wearing plastic colored bracelets. They each symbolized a sexual deed that was supposed to be done if snapped. We all wanted to wear them, but we walked around guarding our wrists and our innocence with our lives.
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