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7 Times My Friend Rob Was Really, Really Mean On The Internet

We all know a Rob. We all try to befriend a Rob. And we all get burned by a Rob. Some might say we got... Robbed.

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1. He tried to slander the good name of the Gyllenhaal family


First on the list and we're already off to a rough start. There has never been a more golden boy than Jake Gyllenhaal, and Rob had the gall the traumatize millions of Gyllenhaalics with his slander. Not only were his despicable claims false, they were career-ruining. For that, Rob was really, really mean.

2. Despite his Gyllenhate, he makes exceptions for Nightcrawler


How god awful and disturbing. I guess Rob picks and chooses when he's going to be anti-Gyllenhaal. And quite frankly, that's really, really mean.

3. He had the nerve to "like" both science and engineering AND The Big Bang Theory


Nobody who likes science and engineering for real actually LIKES that show. Everyone knows that show is made for people with absolutely no science background to feel like they're included. Rob has misled us, yet again, and it's definitely the opposite of nice.

4. He makes light of a very serious modern issue


Dear Rob, we (womenfolk) are really sick and tired of being the butt of the internet's jokes. Women are still being acquired over backgammon games. Go enjoy your privilege somewhere else. Mean.

6. He encourages the consumption of Jason Segel paper products


Segel and Gyllenhaal went to the same high school. Coincidence? Or part of his sick, twisted plan? Truly the works of an ancient despot.

7. He openly mocks his future grandchildren


Mirror, mirror, on the facebook wall, who's the meanest future grandfather of them all? Is this the man you trust with your Gyllenhaal facts? Call your representative today to have this menace removed from the internet. Thank you.

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