1.
Out of Myself, Britney, and Christina- didn't everyone think I was gonna be the troublemaker? LOOK MA!!! No CUFFS!!!
2.
@gagasapostle SIT ON YOU OWN DAMN FACE !! IM BUSY !!!
3.
How many ladies aint scared 2 fart in front of ur man?
4.
Oh na na, what's my name oh na na what's my name! Niall obviously
5.
Do you think I am hip?
6.
Does anyone think global warming is a good thing? I love Lady Gaga. I think she's a really interesting artist.
7.
Hey friends, I lost my blackberry. 😢 So if your trying to reach me, then text me on one of my three iPhones. 💋
8.
not smiling makes me smile
9.
kowabunga dudettes. i'm so pumped to be on this surfing kick. who else surfs out there? gnarly day in the h2o. ridin waves!
10.
WAS RUSHIN HOME TO TAKE A DUMP AND GOT CAUGHT BEHIND A SCHOOL BUS DROPPIN KIDS OFF!! LONGEST 30MINS OF MY LIFFFEEEE!!
11.
If chickens could say love me love me that would be awsome.
12.
Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.
13.
Much to think about.
14.
FUCK U SATAN!!! Fuck right off!!!!!
15.
WWBD - what would Beyoncé do
16.
in a thousand years archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.
17.
[Y]ou [O]nly [L]ive [O]nce
18.
I got a colonic.RT @lolyabitch @cher how did you celebrate Madonna's birthday?
19.
How u like my con shaqt lenses get it lol
20.
I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent.
21.
Wtf is mdna
22.
23.
If Popeye were dating Pink, then people would call them Pinkeye.
24.
YO @BARACKOBAMA COME OVERRRRRR
25.
I want an apology from the person who started sorry not sorry
26.
27.
PS - Star Magazine, Radar Online, Jason Alexander and the rest of you liars, Ya'll can kiss my lily white southern Louisiana ass!
28.
Hey yall!!! What do u think about face book??
29.
He
30.
I want to die.
31.
My wife asked me if today was Friday and I said no,it's chest and back day brother HH
32.
Mate mate mate mate mate.
33.
I am trying to figure out how to make the background a picture of my boobs
34.
Ed Balls
35.
@diplo should we do something about your tiny penis while we're at it hm
36.
SMH means shaking my head
37.
"Sorry, I really screwed up when I gave you all foreskins. Remove them ASAP" - God