back to top

11 Everyday Traumas That Happen To Good People

Life is filled with everyday tragedies, but — alas!KeyBank is here to lighten your tragedy load. The KeyBank Hassle-Free Account® can minimize your mess-ups. But…it can’t help you with that hangnail. Sorry.

Posted on

1. Locking yourself out of your apartment.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person whose roommate is out of town, and whose landlord doesn't believe in cell phones.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Calling a locksmith who will invariably overcharge you and also ask for your number.

2. Leaving home without closing your window, and then it rains.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person who left their laptop by the window.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Asking your ex (the only other person with a key to your place) to close your window. And then dealing with that can of worms.

3. Sending the wrong text to the WRONG, WRONG, WRONG person.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person who is on the fence about a potential suitor, and so decides to consult a good friend, and so...totally contacts the potential suitor instead.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Smashing your phone and withdrawing from society.

4. Forgetting to wish your mom a happy birthday.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person who wasn't able to make it home for Christmas this year EITHER.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Accepting a month-long guilt trip as punishment.

5. Dropping your phone in the toilet.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person who just purchased the phone yesterday.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Coming to terms with the fact that you cannot have nice things, then dragging yourself, with your tail between your legs, back to the establishment at which you purchased the phone.

6. Burning dinner at your own dinner party.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person who has just invited 11 of their closest friends over, including her ex who has brought his new girlfriend who plans this sort of stuff for a living.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Takeout and self-defeat.

7. Booking a vacation, then realizing your passport is expired a week before you leave.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person who has been planning this trip for a year.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Let's...not even get into it.

8. Forgetting about a very important meeting.

Most Likely to Happen To: The organizer of said meeting.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Yelling, "Oh... Oh my... I think my water just broke!" just before you begin the presentation you don't have, excusing yourself, and then explaining later that it was actually not your water, but a medical condition you'd rather not get into. That, or...adopting a child.

9. Completely missing your stop on the bus.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person who is already running late for work.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Waiting for the next one, which will arrive to pick you up in approximately 7 hours and 52 minutes.

10. Getting mustard and ketchup on your white shirt.

Most Likely to Happen To: The person who has a really important meeting in an hour.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Burn it. Immediately.

11. Losing a sock. Just one sock. So, now you have one useless sock.

Most Likely to Happen To: Everyone.

The Very Annoying Solution:
Silently accept the fact that some extraterrestrial force is using our lost socks to fuel their mothership and eventually colonize planet Earth.

Overdraft fees? KeyBank eliminates that everyday tragedy.

The KeyBank Hassle-Free Account® subtracts the hassle from your banking equation. No need to worry about overdraft fees, monthly fees, or minimum balance fees. Besides, you're too busy trying to remember to cancel that free digital magazine membership after your free trial ends.