Business

Hedge Fund Handbook Or Kinky Sex Advice?

Bridgewater Associates is the world's biggest hedge fund. It also has the most cultish employee handbook. Can you tell its handbook from a sex column?

Posted on

As you'd find through hedge fund manager Ray Dalio's manifesto, capitalism and sexual liberation operate on the surprisingly similar assumptions: that honest and rational self-interest will bring the most amount of pleasure to everyone. In both fields there is a deeply American language of the self — stressing the benefits of radical honesty, self-help, and an unembarrassed pursuit of self-actualization. There's a reason sex positive columnists like Dan Savage are called the Classical Liberal of the sexual barter economy. As long as two consenting adults can barter an agreeable exchange of pleasures, everything is (assumed to be, at least) peachy.

No surprise, then, that Bridgewater Associates' "Principals" sound like Steve Jobs giving a BDSM workshop.

Bridgewater Associates is not only the world's biggest hedge fund (managing over $122 billion in assets), but also the most famously cultish one. If you're one of Bridgewater's 1,200 elite employees, you're not only required to read founder Ray Dalio's autobiography and manifesto, you're also rigorously quizzed on it.

Can you tell which of these quotes is sex-positive advice, and which is from Bridgewater's employee handbook?

  1. 1. Who said this?

    Dan Savage's "Savage Love" Column
    Bridgewater Associates
  2. 2. Who said this?

    "Unleashing Our 2nd Orgasm: Self-Discovery Through Sex Toys"
    Bridgewater Associates
  3. 3. Who said this?

    Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
    Bridgewater Associates
  4. 4. Who said this?

    Diaries of A Sensitive Dominatrix
    Bridgewater Associates
  5. 5. Who said this?

    Dan Savage
    Bridgewater Associates
  6. 6. Who said this?

    The Ethical Slut
    Bridgewater Associates
  7. 7. Who said this?

    The Alpha Male's Game Book
    Bridgewater Associates
  8. 8. Who said this?

    Opening Up: A Guide To Creating And Sustaining An Open Relationship
    Bridgewater Associates
  9. 9. Who said this?

    Coming Out As A Kinkster: A Radical Honesty Manifesto
    Bridgewater Associates
  10. 10. Who said this?

    Dan Savage
    Bridgewater Associates
  11. 11. Who said this?

    A Loving Introduction to BDSM
    Bridgewater Associates
  12. 12. Who said this?

    Golden Years: Rediscovering Love In Old Age
    Bridgewater Associates
  13. 13. Who said this?

    Via antonique.deviantart.com
    How To Save Your Passive Aggressive Marriage
    Bridgewater Associates
  14. 14. Who said this?

    12 Pillars of Polyamory
    Bridgewater Associates
  15. 15. Who said this?

    How To Have A Three Way, Your Way
    Bridgewater Associates

Hedge Fund Handbook Or Kinky Sex Advice?

Comics Editor + Chinese-English Translator.

Contact Kevin Tang at kevin.tang+DONE@buzzfeed.com.

Got a confidential tip? Submit it here.