55 Things I Learned At Burning Man
A front porch can also be a bus. Charlie Brown is a burner. Bronies and steampunks galore. Absolutely everything shoots fire.
1. When you arrive at Burning Man, a greeter will hug you and say "welcome home!" If you're a first-timer, they will make you hit a gong and yell "I AM NO LONGER A VIRGIN!" and roll in the dust.
2. You can worship a giant Facebook Like out there.
3. And bowl while waiting for the toilet.
4. A front porch can also be a bus.
5. Charlie Brown is a burner.
6. Tons of folks hitchhike to get to the festival.
7. Every year. Black Rock City (the festival's temporary town) becomes Nevada's third biggest city.
8. A Sparkle Pony is a newcomer who packs nothing but costumes, and expects to be taken care of.
9. This art car used to be a Ford 1973.
10. "Super Street Fire" is the most insanely wonderful game.
11. Everything out there is built by their participants.
12. Basically, everything shoots fire.
13. In the middle of the desert, strangers will drive by and feed you liquor or snow cones.
14. The Hug Deli serves many flavors of hugs.
15. This was a thing.
16. People will flag you down at midnight and give you bacon.
17. Every year, dozens of weddings happen at Burning Man.
18. This chapel on stilts was a popular wedding spot. Until they burned it.
19. You won't find better sunsets anywhere else.
20. People parachute, fly kites, and float light balloons over the desert. The balloons are your compass at night.
21. You absolutely need to tie neon lights on yourself if you plan to walk or bike in the desert at night.
22. This is the best sign to see when you're 5 beers in, and biking in the middle of the desert.
23. This spinning monkey sculpture is awesome/creepy.
24. Bathrooms are surprisingly ungross since it's so dry and dusty.
25. Someone reached into a urinal and graffiti'd there. Dude, no.
26. Dust will cling to everything.
27. If you don't mind being spongebathed by naked strangers, the Human Carcass Wash will get you clean.
28. "Steampunk" goggles are completely necessary.
Because of this.
29. P. Diddy went to Burning Man this year?
30. Spam comes on wheels.
31. There's a surprising age range there.
32. The Temple is a solemn place of remembrance. You are welcome to leave a message to people you've lost this year.
33. The VW Bus is still the most romantic vehicle.
34. Awesome Town has a high elevation. 'You' Is an Integer.
35. Charlie the Unicorn came out here to retire. He finally found Candy Mountain.
36. There's a giant message board at Center Camp.
37. As well as a post office.
38. There's a brony camp?
39. THE ILLUMINATI IS REAL.
40. Off-duty Tie Fighters are jonesing for a rave.
41. If you can't survive hearing this on full-blast while you sleep, you will die there.
42. "Ice is worth more than Google stocks out there."
43. 'Playa names' (Burner nicknames) have to be given to you by other people. I like drawing on people, so this happened.
44. Littering or leaving garbage ('MOOP') behind is Burner sacrilege.
45. You can move this skeleton's fins like a giant puppet.
46. You're never too old for a giant ball pit.
47. Expect to put in a dozen hours of manual labor there (at least). Even if you're not making an artwork or running a themed camp.
48. There's a newspaper there.
49. You can dance around the giant BORING sign.
50. Fish-themed art mobiles are all the rage.
51. I've never seen better bike decorations.
52. This bike's too big, though. C'mon, guys.
53. Burning Man is the opposite of Coachella or Pitchfork fest. It's wonderfully agnostic about Coolness as a currency.
54. This is the 'man' they burn every year on Saturday.
55. Watching huge sculptures burn in the Nevada Desert gets really emotional. You'll want to hug your friends and tell them they're the best people on earth.
Previously: how to spend 24 hours at Burning Man.