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People Are Tweeting Outrageous Lies They’ve Told For Personal Gain And Whewwwww

"My husband and I told our kids Barney died so we wouldn’t have to watch it anymore."

Twitter user Nicole Cliffe shared a lie she told for personal gain yesterday evening on Twitter. She then asked her followers to do the same.

when I moved in with Steve three months into our relationship it’s because I lied and said I was getting evicted and needed a place to live when in fact I just wanted to move in ok please tell me about your over-the-top lies for personal gain

She followed up her original with her second biggest lie and honestly, wow:

my 2nd big lie was once in college I didn’t want to go to class bc it overlapped w lunch so I skipped it and told my prof I had been at an anti-war rally and “it went long” and he clasped my shoulders and said “i don’t know how any of you have the strength to attend class at all”

People then got in on the fun and started sharing their own cherished lies from childhood and beyond. Here are some of the best ones:

1. I mean, they just took advantage of the situation:

@Nicole_Cliffe One of my law school professors was a notorious drunk and he called on me one day when I was totally unprepared and he was visibly drunk. I dead stared at him for a minute and then nodded and said “and that’s it” and he thought I had answered, said “yes, excellent” and carried on

2. These cruel parents:

@Nicole_Cliffe My husband and I told our kids Barney died so we wouldn’t have to watch it anymore.

3. Next we have this appetizer scammer, lol:

@Nicole_Cliffe Sometimes I make a reservation for two at a nice restaurant and then pretend to get stoodup. It’s usually good enough for a free wine or app

4. More restaurant trickery:

@alessa_pm @Nicole_Cliffe I lied about how many people I expected to show for my birthday dinner to Bucca di Peppo, so I could reserve the Pope Room. I bought a Pope hat and wore my goth club gear, and my friends were all freaky nuns, cardinals, etc. Best idea I've ever had.

5. A whole damn MARRIAGE:

@Nicole_Cliffe in college i legally married, and then peacefully divorced, a platonic friend so we qualified to live off-campus.

6. And honestly, so were they:

@MelodyRules_ @Nicole_Cliffe The principle of my high school gave me a key to a "supply closet" to deliver to my homeroom teacher. He seemed hesitant, considering it was only a closet of junk. I rushed to the hardware store & made a copy. My suspicions were right: I had my own master key to the school.

7. This one is sad, but has a very happy ending:

@Nicole_Cliffe Not me, but after fleeing Europe during the Holocaust—in which almost his entire family died—my grandfather got a job as a banker in NY by lying that he had a college degree but the records had been lost in the war. He worked successfully as a banker for the rest of his life.

8. I'm gonna assume he just didn't know what was good for him:

@Nicole_Cliffe I “accidentally” texted my ex-boyfriend to reply to a date with another guy. The date nor the other guy existed. But the ploy worked, we’ve been married 12 years now, and he doesn’t need to know about my lie that saved his life. 😬😬🤦🏼‍♀️

9. Same with this one:

@Nicole_Cliffe this isn’t me but a friend in college was in an accident and got amnesia (for real!) and a girl he had hooked up with once(!) showed up at the hospital and told him they were in a serious relationship and they’re married now. I think abt that one a lot

10. Don't hate the player, hate the game:

@Nicole_Cliffe Was a runaway street kid (didn’t look it) in NYC circa 2001. Stood street level outside a basement club. Group of 5 came up to me thinking I’m the door guy and asking if there’s a cover. Told ‘em “$10”. Got $50 on the spot & booked it before the real door guy caught on.

11. This is genius:

@Nicole_Cliffe I told my mom George Michael was a religious singer so she would take me to his concert. In my defense, he sing Faith. Gig was up when he did a laser light show of I Want Your Sex.

12. This coulda backfired, but I'm glad it worked out for her:

@Nicole_Cliffe Got tired of waiting for a job offer due to bureaucratic slowness. Told the hiring person I had an offer elsewhere & needed a decision. Got my desired offer the next day &d later learned the starting salary was significantly higher due to concern I'd go to the other "job."

13. I'm just hoping that they figured it out at a later date:

@Nicole_Cliffe I got a job at a summer camp as the outdoor/nature counsellor because I said I had studied plants and wilderness survival, but I basically just made things up, including the names of all the plants we saw. So I feel like there are adults now who call everything the wrong name

14. Literally, fake it till you make it:

@Nicole_Cliffe I dropped out of school in 9th grade. When it came time to apply for uni, the private school I applied to accepted home school transcripts. So my parents and I discussed arbitrary grades, I typed it up myself, and my mom signed it. Now I have 2 degrees and am getting my masters.

15. Bless this savvy child...and her American Girl Dolls:

@Nicole_Cliffe I stole money out of my siblings' piggy banks for years because I was mad that they were older than me. Each time my mom noticed the piggy banks were low, she assumed she had forgotten allowance that week and redistributed it. Unrelated, I bought 4 American Girl dolls as a child

16. That poor teacher:

@Nicole_Cliffe when I was in 5th grade I didn't want to write a paper on the american revolution so I just... didn't. when the teacher handed them back I told her I didn't get mine but definitely handed it in. she said she remembered reading it and just gave me like a 90%.

17. At least they actually completed the work though:

@atlasblue85 @Nicole_Cliffe In yr 9 I was woefully unprepared (lazy) for a history assignment, so handed in a yellow folder with my drama assignment in it. I spent the weekend on the history paper & took it to the teacher Monday morning, in a different yellow folder, apologising profusely for the mix up.

18. She escaped in the nick of time, I think:

@Nicole_Cliffe I once claimed Dad was a v conservative minister who wouldn’t let me date ... to get away from a baritone in HS chorus who wanted to date me because my skin was beautifully pale, like a dead person’s. (He wanted to be an undertaker.)

19. This Spring Breakers fiasco:

@Nicole_Cliffe When I was 16, I faked a mission trip to Guatemala (paperwork and all) to my parents (both pastors) so that I could go party in Panama City, Florida, for spring break.

20. Quick thinking served them well:

@Nicole_Cliffe as a small town 13 y/o hoodlum my friends & i were caught out way after curfew & i don’t know what possessed me to saunter up to the cop car & say “excuse me? have you seen an orange cat? our parents can’t know we lost her!” but it is the most self-possessed i have ever been

21. No tickets? No problem:

@Nicole_Cliffe When I was like 16 I brought my French exchange student, Clémence, to a Tom Petty amphitheater concert and told the guards that she had just arrived that very day and it was her dream to see him. We both got in without tickets. (She had no idea who Tom Petty was.)

Did you tell an over-the-top lie for your own personal gain? Leave the story in the comments below!