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25 Bathroom Secrets Guaranteed To Gross You Out

“Sometimes I have trouble with bowel movements, so at times I have to reach ~up there~ and pull them out.”

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We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what things they do in the bathroom that they don't talk to anyone about. Here are the gross/funny things they shared:

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

1. The toilet paper destroyer:

"When my wife leaves toilet paper in the bowl I cut it to pieces with my pee stream while imagining that the pee is a Borg cutting beam slicing starships, but not the Enterprise." —cbrinks

2. A different use for a bidet:

"I use bidets for...other reasons. Sometimes I'm in there long enough to arouse suspicion, but whatever. Those are the next best thing to a showerhead." —Elizabeth Jean, Facebook

3. The plucker:

"I use tweezers to pull out the blackheads in my nose. The ones that are kinda half out, but exfoliating can’t get rid of." —bambakedbeans

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

4. For the shaving cream obsessed:

"I like to rub shaving cream on my body in the shower. I like the way it feels, plus it’s a great time to shave." —SweetGeek25

5. The scooper:

"I use a floss pick to 'scoop' out blackheads one by one. It’s so satisfying to see a little tower coming out of my nose." —ravendeg

6. The broken-arm bleacher:

"I bleach my arm hair! Once my roommate walked into the bathroom and saw the white goop on my arms and she freaked out thinking that I had broken my arms and had casts." —emilyl4cdaf24ea

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

7. The quick poop hack:

"I poop with my feet up on the toilet seat. It takes my average poop time from six minutes to less than one minute." —Indieseed

8. The hot water peel:

"I love soaking my feet in hot water and peeling off the dead skin. I know it’s gross but it’s satisfying at the same time." —bonbon5056

9. The squatter:

"The first thing I do when I get into the shower is squat down and pee into the drain. It’s just so refreshing to clear out my insides before cleaning my outsides." —lookaheadtotomorrow

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

10. A fast track to stardom:

"Not exactly gross, but I do enjoy pretending I’m a talk show host. I talk about stuff that never happened, like me cooking an amazing meal or meeting a celebrity." —Kaylahdoll

11. The amateur yogi:

"I stretch naked after taking a hot shower." —t433df442b

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

12. A private way to deal:

"Conquer panic attacks in privacy." —rachelc4b840d329

13. The secret masturbator:

"My family doesn’t know I masturbate, so that’s what I do in the bathroom. Thank God they don’t ask me why I’m in there for a while…" —sequoiarae

14. The open curtain:

"I shower with the curtain open because I’m terrified a spider will be on the curtain. No one knows, not even my husband." —emilyireneb

15. The body wash grind:

"I heard that someone rubs their entire body in body wash and then grinds against the wall like a porn star auditioning for a big role. I don’t know who she is, but yeah…weird way to shower, huh?" —megandbethea

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

16. The cat cuddler:

"I play with and cuddle my cats whilst sitting on the toilet. I get the best undivided attention from them this way." —Katie Catlady, Facebook

17. The makeshift urinal:

"I pee in the sink. Doesn’t matter whose sink it is… I treat it like a urinal. I justify it by running enough water to 'clear' the drain." —tylere47be9006f

18. A confidence boost:

"The first thing I do in the morning is to go to the bathroom and stare at myself for 15 minutes, practicing my smile for the day." —davide41bcba738

19. The toilet ballerina:

"I sit on the toilet until my legs fall asleep. So that I can laugh hysterically as I attempt ballet moves that I can do with ease otherwise." —dumblonde64

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

20. The bubbler:

"When I’m in the shower and have soap on my hands, sometimes I clench my fists and open them and then blow to make giant bubbles!" —rainap43c5d5459

21. The "grabber":

"Not something I do often, but every now and then I have trouble with bowel movements when they reach the end of the line, I have to reach up there and pull them out. It makes me feel like the grossest person in the world, but physically I feel better." —BooooRadley

22. The at-home plastic surgeon:

"Some brands of pads put a little rectangular sticker to hold the wrapper they come in. I like to put that on my nose and pretend I had a nose job." —marie15

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

23. The performer:

"I play music on my phone and act out my concert/music video/live television performance." —lanniinmilanni

24. The person dealing with dry nips:

"I have really really dry nipples and sometimes before I shower I like to squeeze them and peel the dry skin. It's fascinating to me." —jordanbannerman15

Will Varner / BuzzFeed

25. And the painful picker:

"Dig out pubic ingrown hairs with a safety pin." —jennal4d6aec9c8

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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