1.
Me jumping into bed after a long day at work. 😂
2.
forget pumpkin spice IT’S SOUP SEASON YOU’VE GOT POTATO SOUP CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP FRENCH ONION SOUP CHICKEN TORTILLA SOUP CHEESY BROCCOLI SOUP ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP TOMATO SOUP just so many soups happy soup season
3.
4.
Me: can i pet your dog? Stranger: no Me, to another stranger: can i pet your dog? Stranger: no Demon: boss what’s this? Satan: she’s in a simulation, way better than our usual brand of torture look at her ha ha Me: *scream crying* WHY WON’T ANYONE LET ME PET THEIR DOG
5.
when you forget to mute yourself on a conf call #Emmys
6.
A guy I dated for like 8 years got a big tattoo of me as a mermaid and then left me for the girl who plays Ariel at Disneyworld https://t.co/ve12kBDQeS
7.
I love seeing the first signs of fall
8.
heather, youve got a big storm coming
Here are the full messages so you can read them clearly:
9.
when people ask me if I own a turtleneck #GTFO
10.
Everyone hates millennials until it’s time to convert a PDF into a Word document
11.
Angela Bassett is 60 years old and she looks younger than I did at birth. #emmys
12.
8 year old me making beats on garage band
13.
BOOMERS: When I was your age, I made $32k a year and owned a home, a car, and had no debt. Stop being such whiny brats. MILLENNIALS: https://t.co/t1bblLoptL
14.
so excited to transition from wearing the same 5 things in the summer to the same 5 things in the fall
15.
Beyoncé is me at the club after a few drinks !!!!
16.
today is the day that side characters from Hilary Duff movies SHINE #Emmys
17.
me: it’s so hard to fall asleep tonight! I wonder if it’s that iced coffee I had at 6pm? the iced coffee I had at 6pm: https://t.co/XeCpYVp7BP
18.
I’m sorry but he looks like Lord Farquaad https://t.co/yriO9IEhvh
19.
*to the tune of Destiny's Child's "Say My Name"* SPELL MY NAME, SPELL MY NAME IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE EMAIL IT'S NOT A HIDDEN DETAIL THE SPELLING DOESN'T CHANGE
20.
THE IMAGE I POSTED ON IG THAT HAS SET THE HOME-ON-FRIDAY INTERNET ABLAZE
22.
A series of unfortunate events: