Skip To Content
    Posted on Jul 1, 2017

    Clothes Guys Should Never, Ever Wear On A First Date

    Ditch these and you'll be GQ in no time.

    1. Embroidered jeans.

    ebay.com

    The problem with embroidered jeans is that the designs are usually very loud and distracting. It's not the early 2000s anymore and you shouldn't dress like it either.

    2. Bootcut jeans.

    ebay.com

    The cut is just tooooo outdated. Opt for a slim or straight jean instead.

    3. And dad jeans.

    Justin Sullivan / Getty Images

    Dad jeans are from the golden age of wide, frumpy cuts. You want to be a cool dad, right? Right. Then don't wear these.

    4. Tank tops with armholes from your shoulder to your waist.

    reppsapparel.com

    But what about the gym, you say? No. Even for a workout, it's still an absurd piece.

    5. Blazers with T-shirts.

    Dave Stopera

    Nah, let this go. You're not in a ska band anymore. If you're gonna be formal, be formal. If you're going for casual, be casual. Not both.

    6. Basketball jerseys.

    saltcityhoops / Flickr / Via flic.kr

    Jerseys are cool if you're at a sports event, but other than that, let's ditch them.

    7. T-shirts with ironic slogans on them.

    lookhuman.com

    Throw all of these out. They're usually really corny or super offensive and you don't want people to judge you solely off of an awkward T-shirt you wore.

    8. Button-down vests.

    ebay.com

    Unless you're wearing a three-piece suit, this article should never be worn solo. It's a pretty specific piece of clothing that has a purpose. Don't try to push boundaries by going outside the line.

    9. And while we're at it, puffer vests too.

    ebay.com

    Are your arms immune from the cold? Get a full jacket!

    10. "Fancy" shirts that you only "go out" in.

    Michael Loccisano / Getty Images

    "Going out" shirts are a crime — toss them out now. You shouldn't have shirts specifically for "going to the club." You should just have a variety of shirts that you can wear in multiple situations.

    11. Cargo shorts.

    ebay.com

    This little baby right here is all the explanation I need to give.

    *Drops mic*

    12. Board shorts.

    Flickr / Henry Zbyszynski / Via flic.kr

    Board shorts are extra long swim trunks that usually come down to the knee. Why do you need all that extra coverage? You're at the beach! Get a pair of shorter swim trunks instead, please.

    Here's a full list of some affordable options.

    13. Drop-crotch pants.

    ebay.com

    You're not Aladdin, and your crotch shouldn't be touching the ground.

    14. Pants that bunch up at the bottom, aka pants that are too long.

    poorlittlerichwhitemexican.wordpress.com

    Get these tailored, or at least figure out how to do a better roll job.

    15. Capris.

    ebay.com

    Nah, these have been over for some time. They feel outdated. Wear shorts or pants, not in between.

    16. Anything with a weed leaf on it.

    shinesty.com

    If you smoke, right on. But you don't have to broadcast your hobby to the entire world.

    17. Fedoras.

    ebay.com

    LET 👏 IT 👏 GO. 👏

    You’re not Indiana Jones or Dick Tracy. Get a hat that protects you from the sun, but doesn’t do too much.

    18. Square-toed dress shoes.

    ebay.com

    "But I've been wearing them since high school," you say. And that's the problem. These don't look good. They never have and they never will.

    19. Overly pointed shoes.

    clothingconnectiononline.com

    You're not a witch or a wizard, and chances are you probably aren't a cowboy either. That's what you'll look like in overly pointy shoes. Ditch them unless you want your feet to look two sizes bigger than they actually are.

    20. Skater shoes.

    Twitter: @AthleticShoes2

    Whether you're a skater or not, these aren't good. Sorry! They're usually huge with big fat laces, and honestly, they look a little juvenile. If you're a skater, I'm sure there are some better options. Hello, have you heard of Vans Old Skools?!

    21. Five-finger shoes.

    ebay.com

    I don't care how "comfortable" they are. These are a huge NOOOOOOOOO! You look like a frog-man who washed up on a radioactive beach.

    22. Those flip-flops with the beer opener on the bottom.

    fancy.com

    Get a regular fucking bottle opener!

    23. And actually, wait — no flip-flops in general.

    Porm, Meku20 / FOXY / BACKGRID

    Unless you're at the beach, these don't need to be worn anywhere. The ground is usually VERY GROSS.