25. "Love's Not a Game"
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The song deserves some love for being the final group number of the series alone, but "Love's Not a Game" is also incredibly hysterical and an ode to "Guys and Dolls."
Favorite line: "We definitely shouldn't do this, we definitely shouldn't do this. This is bad, this is bad. We're going to hell, this is bad!"
24. "Research Me Obsessively"
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Brittany Snow's "Good for You" parody deserves so much more attention.
Favorite line: "Check out every guy I used to date, and deduce who broke up with who, based on the hesitation in our smiles."
23. "A Diagnosis"
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Rebecca's first ~actual~ step toward tackling her mental illness via a power ballad is exactly what this show is all about.
Favorite line: "I'm aware mental illness is stigmatized, but the stigma is worth it if I've realized who I'm meant to be, armed with my diagnosis."
22. "I Hate Everything But You"
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Skylar Astin's Greg absolutely did Santino Fontana justice with this performance.
Favorite line: "I hate white women who call their engagement rings 'bling,' oh yes, I hate everything but you."
21. "I'm So Good At Yoga"
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Valencia's first song is littered with excellent lyrics.
Favorite line: "Exhale on another sigh... Rebecca sucks..."
20. "Dream Ghost"
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This Dream Girls-inspired song is an absolute bop and, again, contains some of the most clever lyrics from the entire show. Also, all hail Dr. Akopian!
Favorite line: "It'll never be clear if we're hallucinated, or actually magic! And we're all women, 'cause this job doesn't pay so well."
19. "Love Kernels"
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CXG's "Lemonade" parody is spot on but also very... very... relatable.
Favorite line: "I know you care when you say 'I'm going to a movie tonight, my friend bailed, wanna come?' It means I'm the most important person in his life, next to his friend... But he's known his friend since he was like five. So that's saying a lot."
18. "Oh My God I Think I Like You"
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Another song where the lyrics make you stop and go "...me?"
Favorite line: "Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings? Is there spermicidal lubricant that can kill the fluttering in my heart? Is there an IUD that can stop the image of you and me?"
17. "It Was a Sh**t Show"
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Greg breaking all our hearts I see!
Favorite line: "Chernobyl next to us looks like a campfire. Hurricane Katrina was just bad weather."
16. Face Your Fears
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It's Paula's world and we're just living in it (but also every time I listen to this and the kid choir comes in, I lose it).
Favorite line: "Face your fears, follow your dreams, stare at the sun, play in the street (A busy street)!"
15. "I Go to the Zoo"
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King of R&B Nathaniel? No but really I HATE how good this song is.
Favorite line: "I go to the zoo in San Diego. It's really such a better zoo. My favorite's probably the cheetahs, but I ain't fuckin' with no zebra."
14. "West Covina"
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I wish the opening number to the series was ranked higher, but the next 13 are just SO GOOD. Anyways.... "West Covinaaaaaaa....."
Favorite line: "To be clear, I didn't move here for Josh, I just needed a change, 'cause to move here for Josh, now that'd be strange. But don't get me wrong, if he asked for a date, I would totally be like, 'That sounds great!' Did it sound cool when I said: 'that sounds great'? Ok, how about now: 'that sounds great.'"
13. "No One Else is Singing My Song"
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Again, I'm a sucker for group numbers. And also power ballads. And being overly self-aware. "I am super unique!"
Favorite line: "No one knows the ever-changing rhythm enough to sing along. If only someone could see, in 11-part harmony, or maybe just unison."
12. "(Tell Me I'm Okay) Patrick"
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Another Rebecca ballad where I feel personally attacked.
Favorite line: "I need you to lend a hand, Patrick. 'Cause I think I'm fine, Patrick. But I'm only like ... 43 percent sure."
11. "Nothing Is Ever Anyone's Fault"
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Nathaniel and Rebecca singing about it not really being Hitler or John Wayne Gacy's faults to declare their love for one another? I stan.
Favorite line: "Nothing is ever anyone's fault, John Wayne Gacy was hit by his dad." / "Exactly! It wasn't technically Hitler's fault." / "Wasn't technically Hitler's fault!" / "Hitler's brother died and that made him super sad."
10. "We'll Never Have Problems Again"
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I'm not the biggest fan of Josh and Rebecca together, but this song about completely ignoring your problems is the 500000th reminder that these writers are national treasures. We also love Heather's soul train moment.
Favorite line: "Do you remember back when we had problems? Oh man, that was annoying!"
9. "Antidepressants Are So Not a Big Deal"
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A musical number about antidepressants inspired by La La Land couldn't be more "my brand." I'm obsessed with this song.
Favorite line: "Honey, you're not special 'cause you're sad!"
8. "We Tapped That Ass"
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This is an Emmy-nominated song for a reason.
Favorite line: "We tapped that ass all over this house." / "Sometimes him, sometimes me." / "Though never simultaneously." / "But one of us was hittin' it, usually."
7. "Hello, Nice to Meet You"
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This song entirely reminded me why I'm #TeamGreg.
Favorite line: "Hello, nice to meet you, you've been inside of me."
6. "The Math of Love Triangles"
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Every. Single. Line. In this song. Is perfect. Also, me in math class.
Favorite line: "I wasn't really listening, but I can see. The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me!"
5. "After Everything I've Done for You"
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MAMA PAULA. A SONG. SNAPPED. QUEEN.
Favorite line: "You're nothing without me and my creativity! I created you, you lived in my womb—I mean, figuratively."
4. "Where's Rebecca Bunch?"
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We love a group number that kicks off one of the best seasons! It's also very Beauty and the Beast with a splash of Les Mis so it's truly what I deserve.
Favorite line: "So where's Rebecca Bunch, but also, where's a woman's pride without her man?"
3. "Friendtopia"
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Nothing but respect for my GIRL SQUAD. This Spice Girls-esque anthem has some of the best lines in the entire show. Girl power!
Favorite line: "We're gonna braid each other's hair, then cut each other's braids, connect the braids to build a rope to hang all of Congress."
2. "Let's Generalize About Men"
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The anthem absolutely none of us deserve. Iconic. Revolutionary. Invented feminism. Took down the patriarchy.
Favorite line: "Wait, what about gay men?" / "Oh no, they're fine." / "Gay men are all really great, every single one. They're never mean, just sassy! They're all completely adorable and fun. So let's focus for now on straight men."
1. "You Stupid Bitch"
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Is this even a surprise? I sing this to myself at least once a day. Rebecca telling her imaginary audience to sing about how terrible she is..... Golden Globe-worthy.
Favorite line: "You stupid, stupid bitch. You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things, and wants the world to burn. Bitch. You're a stupid bitch. And lose some weight."