Clocking into work as a customer service representative can feel a lot like, "Hi, I'm here to audition for the role of 'Person Who Cares.' And — scene." Sadly, most of the custies tend to make an interaction way harder than it ever truly needs to be. Usually, what should be a simple conversation ends up requiring an Oscarworthy performance from the employee for them to make it through unscathed.
Personally, I've disappeared into several roles within various customer service companies over the years, so I was feeling seen when Reddit user u/ProfessionalWafer790 took to r/AskReddit and called upon those who have also taken part in the interactive performance art that is customer service. They asked, "Customer service people: What has been told to you that almost made you break character?" And the Oscar goes to...
1. "Customer: 'My pizza still hasn’t been delivered! This is inexcusable! I’ll never do business with Pizza Hut again! Now, what are you going to do about this?!' Me: 'I’d be happy to take your order.' Customer: 'What?!' 'This isn't Pizza Hut, Ma'am. This is a Domino’s.'"
2. "Me: 'Delivery will be 90 minutes.' Customer: 'I've been waiting for one hour and it's not here yet!"
3. "Working at a grocery store, I had a customer come up to the counter and say, 'I want an all-dark-meat rotisserie chicken.'"
4. "Had a female colleague transfer a call to me after a customer said they wanted to speak to someone higher up. I answered and introduced myself. He heard my voice and said, "Not another woman! I want to speak to a man who can actually help. You women don't know how to do anything." I proceeded to tell him that the team leaders and head of department were all, in fact, women. Luckily, he hung up after that."
5. "Well, the times I was called 'bitch' were always close. Pro tip: If you call the customer service rep names, they don't want to help you."
6. "I had this with a customer trying to return an item to me at Home Hardware for a brand we didn't carry. He argued to no end and then somehow found the receipt in his wallet. It was a Walmart receipt."
7. "A customer once told me that they hoped I died because I refused to issue them a refund for a product they had damaged themselves."
8. "I work at Walmart. One time, I went out and caught a dude leaning out of his passenger seat and pissing on the concrete. I calmly said, 'Sir, please don’t piss in our parking lot." And he just said, 'I don’t know what you’re talking about,' as if I couldn’t see the puddle of pee still moving. Customers are insane."
9. "I had a customer ramble incoherently at me and then say, 'You seem trustworthy, so I'm gonna tell you something: I have angel dust in my pocket!' I was pretty new and had no idea how to handle the situation LOL."
10. "When I worked for Social Security, I had an older man call in. I asked for his Social Security number so I could get to his account. He refused to tell me, at Social Security, his SSN because he doesn't tell it to anyone. Like, I get it. But when you call SOCIAL SECURITY, the people who GAVE you the number, maybe they might be okay knowing it."
11. "I was working my first day as a cashier at a Kmart. A customer brought a book to my aisle. He did not like the price of it, so he THREW the damn book right at me and I actually had to duck. I am not even going to say what words went through my mind, but none of them were very nice. My manager saw the whole incident and marched him out of the store."
12. "I was working at a grocery store when a guy came to ask me where the avocados were. Before I could answer, he saw them. I gave a good ole 'Happens to me all the time,' and he said, 'It's okay, I'm dying soon anyways.' Not sure if he was terminally ill or just getting old and making a joke about his age, but there was no smile, no chuckle. I'm usually so chipper and friendly with customers, but I didn't know what to say."
13. "When I worked at Target, I was stocking a shelf, and this lady and her daughter wanted to get where I was standing, and the daughter (who was nice) said, 'Let's just go down and around the aisle.' The mom cut her off and went, 'No, it's their job to move for us.' I just walked away into the backroom — otherwise I would have gotten fired."
Of course, even the most experienced actors (I mean, uhhh, customer service reps) have had moments where they hear something that immediately snaps them out of service-with-a-smile mode, and they just say what they want to. Honestly? It's an exhilarating experience. Here are some moments when people have actually broken character, but hilariously so.
14. "I broke character all the time. One time, a customer told me he was an idiot, so I responded, 'The customer is always right.'"
15. "I was working as a lifeguard and went in to save a submerged drowning woman. When I got her to the surface, she started screaming that I was touching her inappropriately (I had just grabbed under her arms to pull her up), and she demanded that I let her go. So I did. And down she went again."
16. "I was a call center supervisor. We had a grouchy, chain-smoking woman as a service rep. She transferred a supervisor call to me. The customer was pleasant and said, 'Your service rep was rude to me.' I said, 'I know. I heard her. She retires on Friday, and by the time I could punish her, she'll be gone, so there's nothing I can do.' He said, 'I understand, I would be rude on my last week too.' And I said, 'No, she's been rude her whole life, and I can't wait for her to leave.'"
17. And finally, "When I worked at Home Depot, a pair of older men came into my department. 'How can I help you gentlemen today?' I ask. One of them did a dramatic gasp and grumbled, 'Well, nothing, now that you called us that awful word.' So I said, 'I'm sorry. What can I do for you motherfuckers today?'"
I hope these customer stories made you giggle as you enjoy scrolling the internet while killing time on the clock! I feel you. You deserve it. Let us know in the comments if you have a memorable quote of your own from a customer who either almost made — or did make — you drop the act.
H/T: r/AskReddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.