People Are Sharing How Many Pillows They Sleep With At Night And I Am Viscerally Concerned About Some Of These Answers

I'm gonna have nightmares about this argument.

You know, sometimes I have the naive audacity to think certain topics are universally agreed upon and aren't up for debate. But then, I venture onto the internet, where I'm reminded that even a low-stakes topic can spawn the most heated argument with fiery passion.

Fizkes / Getty Images/iStockphoto

So, what are we squabbling about now? Today's dispute comes from this "Ask Reddit" thread where u/BipolarMindAtNotEase asked, "How many pillows do you sleep with and why?" Ironically, I'm going to lose sleep over these genuinely polarizing responses.

I stumbled into this discussion with one fact as my guiding light of truth: two pillows is the correct amount. Some people agreed with my correct opinion:

"Any answer that isn’t two is wild."

—u/electriclux

"Two. I prefer having my head a little propped up and two pillows just feels more comfy."

—u/saltgirl1207

"Two. One under your head, and one to snuggle."

—u/Salty_Equipment_6245

But, alas, some dark souled individuals make the conscious and concerning decision to sleep with just one, lone pillow fighting for its life. I just know in my heart that this can't be ideal for optimal comfy-coziness:

Nathamag11 / Getty Images/iStockphoto

"One. Why would I need more?"

—u/Tessnham

"One. I have only one head."

—u/Robothead-loner

"One, because I'm a basic bitch."

—u/babyfresno77

While I was still grappling with the reality of single pillow sleepers, I was hit with the news that there's an even more unnerving group of heathens who choose not only to sleep with one pillow, but one flat pillow:

"One. And it's a flat pillow."

—u/griim_is

"[One pillow] so flat that I could get by with folding up a bath towel and sticking it in a pillowcase."

—u/equal_poop

But nothing prepared me for the fact that some people prefer to sleep with NO pillow AT ALL? They say that it's...more...comfortable?? I'm extremely skeptical, but they insist:

FX / Via giphy.com

"My backboard is my pillow. I don’t even own a pillow."

—u/Prankstaboy6

"None. Since I ditched the pillows, I have a lot less backache and neck problems."

—u/Lopincol

"Zero!! I hate pillows! I'm way more comfortable just on the mattress."

—u/kelp1616

"Wait, you guys use pillows?"

—u/VERTIX-

As I slowly back away in fear from the zero pillow people, I'd like to take a moment to say that the luxurious slumberers could be onto something with their multiple cushion comfort, but it feels like overkill to me:

POP / Via getyarn.io

"10 pillows, and I love it."

—u/sadgirl398

"Eight. I have an amazing pillow bed nest."

—u/nanaben

"Four. One under the head, one over the head, one between my knees, and one in case any of the others fall off the bed during the night."

—u/unusualfire

"All of them. I need enough pillows to bury myself in them like some type of sand viper."

—u/blepgobrrr

Sure, it sounds cozy in theory to snooze in a pile of pillows, but I'd feel overcrowded and stressfully kick them off the bed in the middle of the night. I'm not the only one who thinks this bed-to-pillow ratio sounds out of whack:

"TBH, that sounds like a fire hazard."

—u/PhishinLine

"The thread is disturbing me. So many people sleep with so many pillows."

—u/Froggy-Fun

"Honestly, what do people need that many pillows for?"

—u/Main_Statistician681

The answer is clear. Whether you're laying back like a well-rested corpse on top of two stacked pillows, chillin' on your side with one pillow nestled softly under your head and the other snugged up — two pillows is the correct amount of pillows no matter what. I rest my (pillow)case.

20th Television / Via Disney +

You won't change my mind, but feel free to argue in the comments about how many pillows is the correct amount! 😴