There are some things in life that aren't easily understood as a kid but make perfect sense as an adult. I can now comprehend why my parents told me I couldn't eat cake for breakfast. Most of the things adults said to me when I was younger, even if I didn't get it at the time, ended up being logical eventually. But, there are certain things I thought I understood the meaning behind, only to realize now I was totally wrong.
When I look back, I can't help but notice certain comments adults made at my expense that were super cringe, weird, and/or rude...and how they would say them like a compliment. The amount of people who told me I was really "developing" is so creepy in retrospect. When I was a teenager, I just thought this meant I was getting taller. Nope! For some reason, it was normalized to comment on a 13-year-old's chest and act like this was appropriate.
When adults would say something like this to me at the time, I would smile and thank them because they were an authority figure and I was supposed to respect my elders, but looking back? What an uncomfortable thing to say to a child. This Reddit thread from r/AskReddit where u/Significant-Cow-934 asked, "What sounded like a compliment when you were young, but you later understood it wasn't?" proves that I'm far from alone in this experience. Here are some of the most cringeworthy responses:
1. “'She’s gonna be a heartbreaker when she’s older!' Just a really weird thing to say to a kid."
2. "You look 18'...when I was 12. As an adult, I realized how creepy that was."
"Even as a young teen as a guy, I had a few older women that said, 'The things I’d do to you if you were older!' when I was, like, 14–15 or whatever. Realizing later in life what these older women were implying to me at the time was wild."
3. "I had the opposite experience. I have always looked younger than my age. It was just as creepy. Old men telling me I looked 12 when I was 18 and then proceeding to hit on me."
4. “You’d be so pretty...if you were skinnier.”
5. “'You’re so mature for your age' really meant I was traumatized and too scared to behave like an actual child."
6. "When I was young, someone once told me, 'You're so lucky you don't have to worry about your looks.' At the time, I thought it was a compliment, but later, I realized they were saying I wasn't conventionally attractive."
7. “You’re beautiful...in your own way.”
8. "I had an adult tell me, 'You've turned into quite the swan.' So...they mean I was an ugly duckling before...?"
9. “I wish I had your confidence,' usually said to a bigger person."
10. "You’re such a perfectionist."
"Many times, people who say that are annoyed because you're taking too long to do a task or that you take over a group task. Many perfectionists go behind and 'fix' what other people have done, and that annoys them."
11. "My aunts used to say I had great birthing hips. I was 13."
12. "You're smarter than you look."
13. "People told my mom, 'Your daughter is so well-behaved!' No, I was horribly anxious and scared of the consequences if I acted out even slightly. Teaching your kid how to be a good human is one thing, but teaching your kid that you can take anything they love away from them at any time if they make a mistake is something else entirely."
14. "'You've got an old soul,' usually meant I was quiet and did what I was told."
15. "'You're too courageous for a girl!' 'You should've been born a boy!' It was a long time until I learned how misogynistic and nonsensical they sounded."
16. "'You're so nice.' A lot of people consider 'niceness' a weakness, something to be suspicious of, or something to take advantage of."
17. "'You are too pretty to act that way!' I was upset about something and expressing my emotions."
18. "'Wow, you're very talkative,' aka how to tell small children to shut up."
19. And finally, “Bless your heart.”
