11 Expectation Of Your First Real Job

Because everyone knows that business is just what we imagined.

1. Expectation: You’ll be Super Happy and Fulfilled

It’s gonna be, like, totes awesome. Like, you’re going to ooze joy because you are gainfully employed.

2. Reality: You Measure Happiness by the Number of PTO Days You Have Left

And the realization sets in that you will never do anything fun ever again.

3. Expectation: You’ll Be an Efficient, Talented Superstar

Everything you do is gonna fricken blow people away. They’ve never seen anything like you!

4. Reality: Nothing Ever Works

Your abilities are totally irrelevant to your level of success. And its slowly driving you crazy.

5. Expectation: You are Going to Have The Coolest Desk Ever

Yeah, your just that baller (haha, get it?).

6. Reality: You Are Really Starting to Like Cats

This is your calendar.

7. Expectation: Health Benefits are Going to be Awesome

No more ridiculous medical bills or having awkward conversations with Mom and Dad about why you had to have herpes testing done again.

8. Reality: You Have a $3,000 Deducible and Despair

Wait, why do I need insurance again?

9. Expectation: You’re Going to Have Awesome Work Outings

You are going to be the master of happy hour.

10. Reality: Grim, Grim Gatherings

This “party” is possibly the most devastating experience of your life.

11. Expectation: Fresh Brewed Coffee with Gourmet Beans

12. Reality: You Get Excited over New K-Cups

Otherwise known as the Devil’s coffee.

13. Expectation: You’re Going to Keep Sexy Shoes in Your Desk

That’s right… I’m HAWT.

14. Reality: You Don’t Care. At All.

Depression has sunk in.

15. Expectation: You Are Going to Take Advantage of After Work Hours and Get Outside!

16. Reality: You’ve Become Fluorescent from Lack of Light

Like, light literally bounces off you from all the pasty.

17. Expectation: You are Going to be Friends with All Your Coworkers

These are your PEOPLE.

18. Reality: Its Hit and Miss

19. Expectation: You’ll Be a Fascinating Conversationalist in the Real World

You’re gonna be like, cultured and shit.

20. Reality: You Discuss Retirement Plans while Drinking


21. Expectation: You and Your Boss will be Besties

You’re hilarious.

22. Reality: This is Your Boss

Is he drunk?

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