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21 Useful Skills Every Lazy Science Undergrad Has Mastered

It's not that you're not clever, you just don't want to do any work that isn't absolutely necessary.

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1. Not standing out too much in a seminar so you don't get called on to answer a question.

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You don't want to look too inattentive, but you also don't want to catch their eye too often.

2. Knowing which of your classmates writes the most legible lecture notes, for when you miss class and need to copy them.

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3. Listening out for key information in a lecture so you can ask one insightful question.

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It's important to craft the impression that you're a diligent student early on, so you can get away with more later.

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4. Looking like you're writing down important notes when you're actually doodling.

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5. Securing a good spot in the library where no one can see your laptop screen.

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Because that would reveal that you're actually watching TV or on Facebook for the majority of your time there.

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9. Also finding out which lecturers provide full, printed notes and which make you take your own from the blackboard.

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I'm not saying you should choose which options you take based on this, I'm just saying you might regret it if you don't.

10. Resisting the urge to switch to an English degree when you hear they only have five hours of lectures a week.

What the next 5 days looks like. (P.S. That's all for one essay) #englishmajor #allthebooks #studentlife

Just remember, they probably have to read like 10 books a day or something.

11. Picking classes that require you to spend the least amount of time in the lab.

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You don't dislike lab work, but it is a lot of effort.

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14. Becoming an expert at writing detailed lab reports about why your results are all wrong.

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Science is a process and it's all about learning from mistakes, right?

15. Assembling a study group of like-minded people who you can share the work with when you need to do a problem set.

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Putting your six brains together means you only need to do a sixth of the work.

16. Calculating the exact number of episodes you can watch before you *really* need to start on the assignment that's due tomorrow.

17. Knowing how to get scientific papers you need through ~other means~ when you've left it too late to ask for an interlibrary loan.

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Also lol who gets interlibrary loans, that's way too much effort.

18. And using Google Books to read a book you need to reference because you forgot to get it out of the library and now they're all gone.

books.google.co.uk / emojipedia.org / BuzzFeed

The words "Pages 132 to 140 are not shown in this preview" are really not what you want to read an hour before a deadline.

19. Which can actually be helpful, because then you can copy and paste any quotes you want to include, instead of typing them out from a paper book like an idiot.

21. And when you finally graduate, feeling smug if you just managed to nudge yourself into the next grade boundary up.

Kelly Oakes

There's nothing like getting a 2:1 with a total mark of 61%, because it means you did just the right amount of work you needed, and no more.

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