1.
Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
2.
"murder" she wrote "your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter" the screen said "murd3R" she wrote, frowning
3.
Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin
4.
Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom.
5.
me: How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?! Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"
6.
People are writing condolences on my Grandma's Facebook that sound more like Yelp reviews of her. Great woman, very loving, 5/5 stars
7.
[please enter a password] ilovedogs [password must contain at least one capital] iloveparisdogs
8.
*forgets Netflix password* *sends email reset* *forgets email password* *sends reset to backup* 20 resets later: *opens 2nd Netflix account*
9.
If Facebook Was Real me: cool shirt Brian Brian: thanks [hours later, a knock at my door] me: um yes? Brian's Mom: I also like that shirt
10.
My aunt's ex-boyfriend's mailman's brother said it on Facebook so I don't think any further research is necessary.
11.
When your internet goes out and you are forced to get to know your surroundings
12.
AMAZON: Did you buy a watch?! ME: Yeah, it's- AMAZON: You might want THIS watch! ME: No I already- AMAZON: ONLY WATCHES FOR YOU, FOREVERMORE
13.
When someone likes their own Instagram photo
14.
*turns on internet* computor, i need to take a break from trying to achieve one thing. show me all of the achievments of others all at once
15.
The new options on Facebook look like the life cycle of every relationship I've ever had
16.
"I wish I had more time to read" he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode.
17.
i love that kanye gets into very specific beefs with ppl i have to google but he's nice enough to say both their first & last name
18.
*Opens Snapchat* "so today I was...." "I just hate when.." "Lemme tell y'all what just happe...." "My boyfriend.."
19.
I had to delete Facebook because I liked too many pictures of dogs yesterday and now the newsfeed algorithm thinks I care about those people
20.
*googles murder tips *adds "asking for a friend" at the end of each search They won't be able to prove a thing! *evil cackles
21.
Google isn't much help if you can't think of the word 'zebra'
22.
Password must contain a capital letter, a number, a plot, a protagonist with some character development, and a surprise ending.