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19 Secrets Scientists Will Never Tell You

We're all big kids at heart.

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1. Freezing random objects in liquid nitrogen will never not be fun.

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2. Especially when you get to smash them afterwards.

3. Same goes for playing with dry ice.

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4. In fact, an empty lab and some dry ice is the perfect opportunity to pretend to be a mad scientist.

5. If we can build a robot to do something for us, we will.

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Yes, it might actually end up taking longer, but it's much more fun.

6. Having the lab to ourselves means there *will* be singing.

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Probably dancing too.

7. Partially because being in the lab on your own can be a bit scary, especially if it's after hours.

8. It's hard not to get overly attached to inanimate objects you use every day.

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Especially when they have faces.

9. Getting a new lab coat is more exciting than it should be.

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Aside from everything else, they make an extremely handy last-minute Halloween costume.

10. It's worth taking a few hours out to pull a prank on a labmate.

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We were waiting for our experiment to finish running, anyway.

11. Sometimes we get scared of lasers too, even though we know they will (mostly) not cut you in half.

I mean they can still blind you so there's plenty of legitimate reason to be cautious.
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I mean they can still blind you so there's plenty of legitimate reason to be cautious.

12. Coming up with acronyms for our experiments often takes longer than it should.

You can't rush perfection. Or bad puns.
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You can't rush perfection. Or bad puns.

13. If you've worked in a lab long enough, everything starts to look like a fire hazard.

14. We'd rather sit through an hour-long lecture on the actual Big Bang theory than be asked our opinion on the TV show one more time.

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15. It's annoying to hear someone use a scientific word in the wrong way.

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16. But it's more annoying when people assume you're going to be super pedantic just because you're a scientist.

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We're not all Richard Dawkins.

17. Sometimes we quite enjoy going into the lab on a weekend.

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It's much quieter and you can actually get some work done.

18. Conferences are basically an excuse for a piss up with other scientists we don't get to see that often.

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That doesn't mean the talks are not really useful, but it's often the drinks afterwards where actual collaborations are born.

19. And drinking from conical flasks never, ever gets old.

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You'll still scoff at shots served in test tubes in bars, though.