1. Manchester is such a dull city.
2. It rains there ALL THE TIME.
3. Literally never stops raining.
4. Which is especially sad because there's nowhere to go on a rainy day.
5. No art to go and see.
6. No fun places to go and while away an afternoon.
Museum of Science and Industry
7. No steam trains to ride on.
8. Basically no good museums at all.
9. There's just no history in the city, you know?
10. There's nowhere inspirational to get some work done.
11. Or sneak away to and pretend you're in Harry Potter.
12. Who'd want to stare up at that ceiling?
13. And just look at the state of this one, what a mess.
14. Basically, if you enjoy reading books in spectacular locations, you're screwed.
The Portico Library
15. There are zero spectacular venues.
16. In fact all the buildings are just really drab.
17. Salford Quays is downright ugly.
18. I hope you don't like greenery.
19. Because you'll get none of that rubbish here.
20. Say goodbye to trees.
21. If you want beautiful architecture, look elsewhere.
22. Just look at the state of this old swimming baths building.
23. Who'd want to take a dip near that window?
24. The mix of old and new just doesn't work.
25. This canal is so gross.
26. The people who live here have got no respect for their surroundings.
27. And no pride in their city.
28. Good luck getting a bunch of them together to celebrate anything.
29. Nothing of note has ever happened here.
30. All those red bricks are just plain ugly.
31. The modern buildings are no better.
32. Literally the only food anyone eats around here is chips and gravy.
Mezze from Katouris deli on Deansgate, a curry from Muglhi in Rusholme.