back to top

Pluto Is Not A Planet And It Never Should Have Been

You can vote all you want to reinstate it, but unless you're a part of the International Astronomical Union, that's not how it works. THANK GOD.

Posted on

In 1930 an small, oddball, rocky object was discovered in the outer solar system. We named the object Pluto, and called it the ninth planet. Sadly, that was a mistake.

This fuzzy blur of a thing is the best image we have of Pluto.
NASA, ESA and M. Buie / en.wikipedia.org

This fuzzy blur of a thing is the best image we have of Pluto.

Thankfully, the lovely people at the International Astronomical Union (IAU) fixed this in 2006 when they decreed that Pluto was no longer a planet, and all was right with the world again.

Now some overly sentimental people are trying to ruin everything again by claiming Pluto should be back among the planets. So let's look at the evidence.

Pluto might not even be the ninth biggest object to orbit the sun – dwarf planet Eris is basically Pluto's twin.

A twin that Pluto somehow conveniently "forgot" about until 2005. I don't see anyone campaigning to make Eris a planet, least of all Pluto.
ESO/L. Calçada

A twin that Pluto somehow conveniently "forgot" about until 2005. I don't see anyone campaigning to make Eris a planet, least of all Pluto.

Advertisement

Even our own MOON is bigger than Pluto.

Should we make the moon a planet too?! No, we should not.
NASA, ESA, JPL, and A. Feild (STScI).

Should we make the moon a planet too?! No, we should not.

As are SIX other moons in the solar system: Jupiter's Ganymede, Callisto, and Io.

NASA
NASA / JPL / University of Arizona

And Jupiter's Europa, Saturn's Titan, and Neptune's Triton.

NASA
NASA/JPL/Space Science Institute
NASA / Jet Propulsion Lab / http://U.S. Geological Survey

It's not just moons and planets Pluto is smaller than. Its surface area is a bit smaller than Russia's. If we classify Pluto as a planet, is Russia next?

For clarification, Russia is a country and Pluto is a tiny lump of rock floating in space.
FutureTrillionaire / BuzzFeed / Via commons.wikimedia.org

For clarification, Russia is a country and Pluto is a tiny lump of rock floating in space.

Advertisement

Pluto's orbit is so much wonkier than that of any of the real planets, it's almost as if it's not even trying.

Go home, Pluto, you are drunk.

And clear all that debris out of your orbit while you're at it.

The IAU even created a whole new class of objects called dwarf planets in 2006, when it realised Pluto wasn't like all the other planets. Was Pluto grateful for this? No.

Pluto's got its own family of dwarf planets now. It doesn't even need us any more.
waiferx.blogspot.co.uk

Pluto's got its own family of dwarf planets now. It doesn't even need us any more.

But the most startling piece of evidence is this: Pluto couldn't even be bothered to make it around the sun ONCE in the time it was a planet.

Not once. I rest my case.
ESO/L. Calçada

Not once. I rest my case.