Michael McIntyre once bought me a sandwich, but I didn’t eat it because tuna is gross.
I saw Kirsten Dunst in the street but didn’t approach her for a selfie because I was wearing my kagoule that makes me look a pervert.
I once offered a man a wotsit when I was very drunk, turned out it was Stephen Gately from Boyzone so I drunkenly pretended I didn’t realise who it was and carried on offering him my wotsits.
When I worked at a theatre I mistook the comedian Ed Byrne for a roadie and told him to load a bunch of equipment onto the stage. And he did.
I also accidentally saw Simon Callow naked.
One time Ian McKellen was on the same tube as me going into central London and then when we were coming back several hours later he was on the same tube back too.
Did I tell you about the time I saw Stephen Fry? It was six in the morning, so I didn’t say ‘Hi’ and just tweeted at him instead.
I once tripped up Will Young in a play I saw on Valentine’s day.
I went to the same Stagecoach theatre arts school as Matt from One True Voice, which was the boyband from the show that made Girls Aloud.
Paul Burrell, the former royal butler, sold my sister a limited edition beanie baby. More than once.
The guy from Blood Red Shoes told me I was the first person from the Isle of Man he’d ever met. I told him he was the first member of the Blood Red Shoes I’d ever met, which wasn’t even true.
Paul Smith from Maxïmo Park nearly ran me over outside Brixton Academy.
I saw Keira Knightley on Brick Lane and thought she was friend of mine so felt kind of hurt when she didn’t wave back.
James McAvoy once apologised to me in a doorway.
Chris Kamara once caught a friend of mine jumping over the barriers at a tube station.
I saw Justin Bieber in Kentish Town, but I thought he was Dappy and gave him a dirty look.
The comedian Jason Byrne once had to show me how stairs work. I’d temporarily forgotten because reasons.