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    17 Funny Tweets For People Who Can't Stop Watching Shows About Murder

    Why can't I sleep at night? It's a mystery!


    why am i scared to be in my apartment alone all i do is read books about murder and listen to podcasts about murder and watch tv shows about murder idk seems odd


    Me: how about a little net- Wife: Netflix & kill? Me: huh? Wife: Amazon Prime & true crime? Me: Uhm Wife: Hulu done it? Me: I’m going to bed wife: Me: Wife: ˢʷᵉᵉᵗ ᵈʳᵉᵃᵐˢ


    [me as a home makeover host on TLC] we know you love true crime so we murdered someone in your kitchen


    *every true crime show* alive person: it's a small town, everybody knew each other, things like this just don't happen here. we never locked our doors before we found out about the torture farm


    me: wow I can’t wait to keep an open mind on this murder podcast [a man who has refused to be interviewed is introduced into the story] me: it was fucken him


    Them: I like listening to podcasts in traffic. Me: same! Them: nice! What do you listen to? Me: *names 5 true crime podcasts and talks about murder and serial killers and how it’s all so dark but fascinating and grew up watching forensic files* Them: 😶 Me: 😐


    my biggest problem right now is that I love to fall asleep to podcasts but I only like unsolved murder podcasts and these two things are not compatible


    murder documentary: the main suspect prolly did it me: i fucken knew it murder doc: this other guy hated the victim’s coworker’s milkman tho me: wait did he- murder doc: lmao no he wasn’t involved at all. there was literally no reason for us to even mention him


    me: *is afraid of the dark* also me: *puts on murder doc to fall asleep to*


    I love when murder documentaries let me know that the scene they're showing is a 'dramatic reenactment', like I thought a professional camera crew filmed John Wayne Gacy eating breakfast with his wife the morning after he buried a corpse under his floorboards.


    Netflix & chill is dead. It’s unsolved murder documentaries, chill, get obsessed about the case & try to solve it together.


    Sorry I was late to your kid’s birthday party. I was sitting in the driveway finishing a podcast about grizzly murder.


    I’m so stressed. I think I need to disconnect and unwind. *watches 7 Netflix murder documentaries in a row*


    There's always that one guy in murder documentaries who finds a body and you're just like HOW? The body was in a drum, 30 ft underground, in the woods, beneath a boulder but somehow someone stopping to tie their shoes is like "oh yea I just stumbled across it"


    I’ve watched so many crime documentaries that everytime I go outside I think every person is a serial killer


    me: hm its 1 am and i can’t sleep my last two brain cells: watch a true crime documentary that will definitely help


    me: wow why do I feel so shit also me: hasn’t left house in three days, had multiple takeaways and few showers and keeps listening to podcasts about murder me: there is simply no way to know