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I Watched "The Little Mermaid" As An Adult And I Am No Longer An Ariel And Eric Shipper

Trading your voice for a man you hardly know seems like a poor decision in hindsight.

So, one of my favorite Disney movies as a kid was The Little Mermaid.

It's been a long time since I've seen the movie, so I decided to rewatch it. And...guys, I hate to say it, but I am no longer an Ariel and Eric shipper. Allow me to explain:

So, their story starts with Ariel saving Eric's life. I'll admit that was very nice of her.

Ariel pulls Eric out of the water

But then when Ariel is trying to figure out if Eric is alive or not, she just starts singing. Ariel, I know you want to explore the human world, and I respect that — but we have bigger problems here!

Ariel examines Eric: "Is he dead?" then starts singing, "What would I give to live where you are?"

Luckily, Eric turns out to be alive. I guess he didn't mind her singing.

Still, this seems like a BIT much for someone Ariel has never actually had a conversation with. How do you know Eric isn't, like, a total dick?

Ariel: "Daddy, I love him!"

We all know what happens next: Ariel makes a deal with Ursula, the sea witch. But has anyone ever really stopped to think about what a TERRIBLE deal this is?

Ursula projects an image of Eric to a dreamy Ariel, "It won't cost much, just your voice"

If you're gonna potentially sign your life away, shouldn't you at least read the contract?

Ariel signing Ursula's contract with her eyes closed, Flounder and Sebastian gasping, labeled, "Me watching this"

I mean, does Ariel even have a plan to get Eric to fall in love with her other than just staring at him?

Ariel stares at Eric, Eric labeled, "May I help you?"

Imagine if Eric didn't like her back — this could have easily turned into the story of the creepy mermaid stalker.

Good thing for Ariel, Eric does seem to like her back — he just only recognizes her voice. As a side note, this reminds me a lot of Austin not recognizing Sam without her mask in A Cinderella Story.

Austin and Sam in "A Cinderella Story"

Now, this brings me to my other big issue. Why doesn't Ariel just write Eric a goddamn note?!

Ariel: "I love you man I don't know, if only there was some other way to communicate, life is so unfair," Eric: "I love you girl I've never talked to, shucks"

Then again, Ariel thought a fork was a hairbrush, so...maybe she didn't know how to write? But wait, she signed the contract, so she clearly at least knows how to write her name. I need answers, Disney!

Ariel brushing her hair with a fork

Somehow, Ariel and Eric manage to fall in love and get their "true love's kiss."

Ariel and Eric kiss

I guess I'm happy for them, or whatever. Still seems like a bit of a leap to jump straight into marriage, though. Ever heard of a date?!

ANYWAY. I still love The Little Mermaid, but I am strongly rethinking Ariel and Eric's relationship. In conclusion: