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Mar 4, 2020

18 Ryan Reynolds Tweets About Parenting That Are 100% Funny And 200% Accurate

I just really appreciate this man.

1. First, when he was straight-up about the harsh reality of traveling with a baby:

No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.

2. When he gave this important parenting advice:

It's important kids eat 5 servings of vegetables daily. Even if childhood is just a dress-rehearsal for extraordinary adult suffering.

3. When he gave this...interesting parenting advice:

No. Put on Spider-Man (from 2002) and tell him it’s Deadpool. It’s what I do with my kids. Remember to look him straight in the eye when you lie. Good luck. 🕷 https://t.co/FbDhj69a7x

4. When he kind of ruined the surprise party:

My kids tried to surprise me for my birthday this morning. I totally heard them coming and snuck out to start a new life somewhere else.

5. When he made us want to throw gummy bears at him:

Being a Dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy-bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.

6. When he knew his limits:

I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.

7. When he let things escalate VERY quickly:

My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.

8. When he made a grave error in judgement:

My infant daughter's traumatized for life. 50 Shades of Grey = Worst fucking coloring book ever.

9. When he took one for the team:

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.

10. When he was an art critic:

My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.

11. When he generously lent out his car:

Totally caved and tossed my daughter the keys to the car. She looked really happy as they bounced off her tiny infant face.

12. When he dragged Paw Patrol to hell and back:

I can‘t tell if my daughter’s smashing plates all over the kitchen floor or singing the theme song to Paw Patrol.

13. When he looked on the bright side:

Happy birthday to my baby girl! Sad I lost my virginity. But thankful I have a daughter.

14. When he took a second to notice an exciting new development:

Nothing better than the simple joys of finding 5 bucks in an old pair of pants, or discovering my wife and I had a second daughter over a year ago.

15. When he didn't quite get the point of nursery rhymes:

Love writing nursery rhymes for my daughter. Her favorites are, "Sunshine-Cuddle-Time!" and "Everyone You Know Will Eventually Die."

16. When he shared his favorite thing to do at the beach:

My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.

17. When he casually made a Deadpool reference:

LOVE dressing my daughter in baby clothes. The itsy-bitsy pink pajamas. The tiny white socks. The black leather mask. Cuteness overload!

18. And finally, when he got really honest about parenting:

Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter's eyes, whispering, "I can't do this".

In conclusion, Ryan Reynolds is the Twitter Dad we deserve!

Marvel / Via belyaevap.tumblr.com

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