1. That “not a child, not an adult” feeling you have in your early twenties is completely real and valid.
You used to think you had the answers to everything, but now you know life doesn’t always go your way.
3. Life is about simple pleasures.
Like profane mugs, impossibly twee cupcakes, and pictures of corn that appear too good to be true.
5. You’re stronger than yesterday.
It’s not exactly a secret that Britney had a rough go of it in the mid-’00s. Her life spun out of control in such a spectacularly public way that the Associated Press had an obituary prepared, just in case. Flashforward to today: Britney is happy, healthy, and holding it down in Vegas. Moral of the story? She’s a survivor and you are too.
7. Related: Men can, frankly, suck a fucking toe.
Especially the assholes poor Britney keeps ending up with.
8. Books are the best company.
10. There’s nothing more powerful than dancing out your feelings.
“Sometimes you don’t need to use words to go through what you need to go through,” Britney explained in the 2008 documentary, Britney: For The Record. “Sometimes it’s an emotion that you need to feel when you dance, that you touch on and the only way you can touch it is if you move a certain way.”
15. The phrase “if you seek amy” is a perfect phonetic substitution for “f-u-c-k me.”
This was an important linguistics discovery for middle-schoolers everywhere.
16. Instagram is more fun when you aren’t using it to fake a perfect life.
While a healthy percentage of Instagrammers stage and filter their photos into perfect vignettes, Britney’s Instagram is a delightfully weird mess. She prefers goofy memes and poorly lit selfies to professional-looking portraits. Instead of trying to present her life as magazine-ready, she just seems documenting her interests, which, honestly, seems like a much healthier approach.
19. You better work, bitch.
You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti? You want a Maserati? You better work, bitch. You want a Lamborghini? Sip martinis? Look hot in a boo-kini? You better work, bitch. You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion? Party in France? You get the idea.
- A New York senator is trying to force Trump to release his tax returns by 2020 with a bill dubbed the TRUMP Act 📂
- A judge has declared a mistrial in the case of a South Carolina officer who fatally shot Walter Scott, an unarmed black man, in 2015.
- At least 36 people died in Friday's fire at a warehouse party in Oakland. Prosecutors say murder charges are possible.
- Adult Swim's alt-right comedy show didn't last long. They canceled it after 1 season following fierce criticism ❌📺