Music

19 Iconic Lessons Britney Spears Taught Us About Life

You better work, bitch.

1. That “not a child, not an adult” feeling you have in your early twenties is completely real and valid.

BritneySpearsVEVO

You used to think you had the answers to everything, but now you know life doesn’t always go your way.

2. “Cool” is the most versatile word in the English language.

Giphy / Via giphy.com

Britney Spears / Via giphy.com

 

3. Life is about simple pleasures.

Britney Spears / Via instagram.com

Britney Spears / Via instagram.com

 

Like profane mugs, impossibly twee cupcakes, and pictures of corn that appear too good to be true.

4. Fame and fortune do not guarantee happiness.

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5. You’re stronger than yesterday.

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Britney Spears / Via instagram.com

 

It’s not exactly a secret that Britney had a rough go of it in the mid-’00s. Her life spun out of control in such a spectacularly public way that the Associated Press had an obituary prepared, just in case. Flashforward to today: Britney is happy, healthy, and holding it down in Vegas. Moral of the story? She’s a survivor and you are too.

6. “The best thing about your boyfriend cheating on you, is that you get to go on another first date!”

ABC

There’s Always A Silver Lining: The Godney Gospel

7. Related: Men can, frankly, suck a fucking toe.

Especially the assholes poor Britney keeps ending up with.

8. Books are the best company.

Britney Spears / Via instagram.com

Britney Spears / Via instagram.com

 

Did you know the legendary Ms. Britney Spears is an avid reader? She’s regularly photographed by the paparazzi with a book in hand and in 2008 she told Glamour magazine that her idea of perfect night is “staying in bed and watching Dancing With the Stars or reading a Danielle Steel novel.”

9. You can be a sexy badass and a massive dork at the same time.

BritneySpearsVEVO / Via giphy.com

Giphy / Via giphy.com

 

Those two things are not mutually exclusive.

10. There’s nothing more powerful than dancing out your feelings.

“Sometimes you don’t need to use words to go through what you need to go through,” Britney explained in the 2008 documentary, Britney: For The Record. “Sometimes it’s an emotion that you need to feel when you dance, that you touch on and the only way you can touch it is if you move a certain way.”

11. Phone sex is hotter when you call it “phonography.”

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12. And you should go ahead and get to know the ~touch of your hand~.

 

13. Never underestimate the power of a well-executed hair flip.

Britoholic / Via tumblr.com

14. You’ll be remembered for your successes, not your failures.

Scott Gries / Getty Images

Scott Gries / Getty Images

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

 

Yeah, Britney totally biffed her performance at the 2007 VMAs, but who cares when she slayed it in 2000, 2001, and 2003? That’s what you think of when you think of Britney in the ’00s.

15. The phrase “if you seek amy” is a perfect phonetic substitution for “f-u-c-k me.”

BritneySpearsVEVO

This was an important linguistics discovery for middle-schoolers everywhere.

16. Instagram is more fun when you aren’t using it to fake a perfect life.

Britney Spears / Via instagram.com

Britney Spears / Via instagram.com

Britney Spears / Via instagram.com

 

While a healthy percentage of Instagrammers stage and filter their photos into perfect vignettes, Britney’s Instagram is a delightfully weird mess. She prefers goofy memes and poorly lit selfies to professional-looking portraits. Instead of trying to present her life as magazine-ready, she just seems documenting her interests, which, honestly, seems like a much healthier approach.

17. Patience is overrated.

MTV / Via giphy.com

18. And so are poker faces.

Giphy / Via giphy.com

Giphy / Via giphy.com

Giphy / Via giphy.com

 

Feelings are for expressing — fully and instantly!

19. You better work, bitch.

BritneySpearsVEVO

You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti? You want a Maserati? You better work, bitch. You want a Lamborghini? Sip martinis? Look hot in a boo-kini? You better work, bitch. You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion? Party in France? You get the idea.

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