1. You've grown to appreciate the refined art of dad humor.
2. You've come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to like you, and that's perfectly fine.
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3. You've learned to surround yourself with the people who value the same things in life as you.
4. You've had a horrifying realization that you can no longer eat an entire pizza without suffering consequences.
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5. But whatever.
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6. Your wardrobe these days is more about comfort than anything else.
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7. When someone tells you they were born in or after the year 2000, you do not understand.
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8. Your ideas of romance have reached full maturity.
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9. The fucks you have to give are vastly fewer than they were in your youth.
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10. You have no idea who all these youngster celebrities are, and meh, whatever.
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11. There's just too much youthful jargon these days, and you've lost all desire to keep up.
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12. Going out to bars now feels like time-warping back to high school...
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13. ...so you drink your one glass of wine and head home to go to bed.
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14. But whatever, you know how to have fun.
15. And that's the best thing about getting old: You know who you are and what you want, and nothing else really matters.
Nickelodeon
