1. The ocean is filthy. The ocean is a big fish toilet.
AND OTHER SEA CREATURE EXCREMENT.
2. And most of it is still unexplored. We don't even know what's down there.
3. EXCEPT FOR CRABS, LYING IN WAIT TO PINCH YOUR TOES AS YOU INNOCENTLY WALK BY.
4. AND, OH YEAH, SHARKS.
5. Going into the ocean is the equivalent of OFFERING YOURSELF UP AS SHARK FOOD.
6. And what else lives in the ocean? GIANT SQUIDS.
7. The one thing we do know about the ocean for sure: It hates people.
8. It literally does nothing but kick us out.
9. Some people call them "waves" but they're really just "passive-aggression."
10. The ocean loves nothing more than to fluctuate temperatures, just to mess with humans.
"Yesterday the water was 83 degrees and today it's 0 DEGREES."