1.
Just so weโre clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.
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he's making a list and checking it twice and i'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab
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*Flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here's the thing. If Santa knows when kids are naughty or nice then he knew Rudolph was being bullied
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My 6yo Santa skeptic was told to write a letter to Santa at school. So he did...
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WARNING TO THOSE ATTEMPTING TO KILL SANTA IN ORDER TO BECOME HIM: use your fists/a rear naked choke. if u shoot him, the GUN becomes santa
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ITS DECEMBER, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night. The moon was full and they were standing nakedโฆ https://t.co/d8dTMA8ZQ4
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They used to laugh and call him names. USED to.
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Here comes Dracula Here comes Dracula Right down...SANTA CLAUS LANE??!!
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Huge time of year for you, friend
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Childhood: I WANT IT TO BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY. Adulthood: It's December 8th. The Christmas music is relentless. I will confess to anything.
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If anyone is Christmas shopping for me I wear a size 7 grams in weed
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A Christmas Carol is the heartwarming tale of how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.
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Santa: โRudolph with your nose so bright, wonโt you guide my sleigh tonight?โ Rudolph after being treated like shitโฆ https://t.co/tkhCImz15j
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MALE REINDEER LOSE THEIR ANTLERS IN WINTER AND FEMALES DON'T THEREFORE SANTA'S SLEIGH IS ACTUALLY PULLED BY A TEAMโฆ https://t.co/7rk0uk0s2Z
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michael bublรฉ is defrosting as we speak
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Up on the rooftop, click click click / Click click click click click click click click click click click click cliโฆ https://t.co/H1XmdtrGYs
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Couldn't choose between a star or an angel so I went with both
20.
Decorating our Christmas tree and daughter said, "I bet the only thing The Grinch puts on his tree is the skin of his victims."
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Give the gift that keeps on giving. Stay inside.
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Used to piss me off seeing Xmas stuff in shops in Sept, now just admire their blind optimism that we'll still be around in three months time
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you better watch out ๐ you better watch out ๐ you better watch out ๐ you better watch out ๐ you bETTER WATCH OUT ๐ โฆ https://t.co/zqVyytjeGo