We all remember The Office, one of the most beloved shows of all time.
We all love it, right? WRONG. And it's all because of one guy: Jim Halpert. He's a life-ruiner and we need to talk about why. We need to talk about why The Office must be stopped.
Jim Halpert will never give you an air high-five, and it was cruel of The Office to give us any kind of false hope that maybe someday, somehow, he would.
Jim Halpert will never rush back from New York City, turning his back on a huge job opportunity, to ask you on a first date.
You'll never get to fall asleep on Jim Halpert's shoulder.
Jim Halpert will never do a dorky dance with you.
Or compliment you on your dorky dancing.
Jim Halpert will never even CALL you a dork because LIFE IS UNFAIR and The Office is evil for making all men pale in comparison to Jim Halpert.
Jim Halpert will never buy you an engagement ring the week after you start dating.
He'll never propose to you in the middle of a gas station and somehow make that the most romantic proposal ever...
And then gently cradle your head like you're the most precious person on the face of the earth.
Jim Halpert will never selflessly comfort you on your wedding day because you will never get to marry Jim Halpert.
Jim Halpert will never carefully design a three-tier plan to ensure that you end up marrying him because he's Jim Fucking Halpert and his love is unconditional and endless.
Jim Halpert will never calmly, earnestly confess his love for you...
...apologize for any inconvenience his feelings may cause...
...SHED A SINGLE, PERFECT TEAR...
...AND THEN SEEK YOU OUT POST-TEAR-SHEDDING TO GIVE YOU THE KISS OF YOUR LIFE.
Jim Halpert will never make you his famous grilled cheese sandwich.
He'll never make you the most perfect list in all list-making history.
You'll never get to bond with him over your mutual love of cheesiness.
Jim Halpert will never look at you like you're the CENTER OF THE GODDAMN UNIVERSE.
He'll never play sweet, loving, hilarious practical jokes on you.
And you'll never get to craft those pranks with him. NEVER.
And when things get tough, Jim Halpert won't do any and everything in his power to work it out and get you back on track.
Because Jim Halpert is a fictional character and THAT ISN'T FAIR, THE OFFICE. IT ISN'T FAIR AND YOU'RE A TERRIBLE SHOW.
(But also, love you. But also, FUCK YOU.)