28 Announcements You Should Never Make On Facebook

BRB shaving my unibrow, then getting engaged. I’ll post my ultrasound pics later. Inspired by Facepalm.

1. You’re the best person you know:

2. You’re a social media guru:

3. You’re changing your beauty routine:

4. You’re really proud of your garden:

5. You want some attention:

6. You need someone to spare a square:

7. You’re switching sides:

8. You’re getting laid:

9. You’re not getting laid:

10. You’re not feeling like your best self today:

11. You’re feeling like your best self ever today:

12. You’re a phonetic speller:

13. You’re setting new goals for yourself:

14. You have a sensitive nose:

15. You’re taking up a new hobby:

16. You haven’t bought a PS4 yet:

17. You just got an exciting new job offer:

18. You’re embracing your sexuality:

19. You don’t know how to change a tire:

20. You’re about to drown:

21. You’ve been gravely injured:

22. You’re bleeding internally:

23. You’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown:

24. You get stressed out when you travel:

25. You’re not circumcised:

26. You didn’t read the label:

27. You’re going to be unemployed soon:

28. You need a proctologist:

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