If you know one thing about Ben Wyatt on Parks and Recreation, it's that he and Leslie Knope are perfect for each other and your faves could never.
And if you know two things about Ben Wyatt on Parks and Recreation, you also know that he loves calzones more than anything*.
Ben Wyatt loves calzones.
Pizza can suck it, in Ben Wyatt's eyes.
He sings about calzones.
He has calzone clothing.
Ben Wyatt loves calzones even when they betray him.
So when I tell you that Adam Scott, the actor who played Ben Wyatt on Parks and Rec, went to a pizza-making class in Italy, tried to make a pizza, fucked it up, and ended up making a calzone instead, please understand the gravity of the situation.
Sure, "as fate would have it." Like the man behind Ben Wyatt would travel all the way to Italy, Motherland of Italian Food...
...and not sabotage a pizza-making class in the name of calzones everywhere.
This, my fellow Pawneeans, is not the face of a man who has made a mistake.
This is the face of a man who has successfully furthered the calzone agenda.