17. Himself on “Las Vegas” in 2005
Bon Jovi plays himself, and is so uninteresting that he’s upstaged by a performance by Gladys Knight. He also wears a football uniform = not a good look.
14. Derek Bliss in 2002’s “Vampires: Los Muertos”
Derek Bliss is a great name but he’s a “freelance vampire slayer” and since vampires are inherently unsexy, no matter how much Twilight tries to convince us otherwise, his mere proximity to them really dampens down any attractive qualities he could have. Also those sunglasses are atrocious.
12. Himself on “The West Wing” in 2006
He has the communication director of a presidential campaign swooning over him, but his hair is at an all-time low, really bringing down the sexy factor.
9. Danny in 1998’s “Homegrown”
There is a scene where his character takes care of his girlfriend’s daughter, which is just about the cutest thing ever. Unfortunately there is also a scene where he is in a hot tub smoking a joint with Hank Azaria and Billy Bob Thorton which is something I’d like to unsee.
7. Jensen in 2011’s “New Year’s Eve”
♫ SINGING ALERT ♫. Bon Jovi plays a rockstar with no last name who sings a cover of the John Hiatt song “Have A Little Faith In Me” on New Year’s Eve. Everyone knows that Bon Jovi singing is +1000 times hotter than Bon Jovi not singing.
4. Robin Grange in 1996’s “The Leading Man”
Bon Jovi’s character is asked by his boss to seduce his wife so she becomes distracted about the fact that he himself is having an affair. But then it gets super complicated when the boss gets jealous because who would not get jealous about Bon Jovi seducing their wife?
3. Kevin in 1997’s “Little City”
His character Kevin is a bartender who is a recovering alcoholic who literally has women falling over him the whole movie, which means he can sleep with basically whoever he wants, which is exactly how it should be.
- Two brothers suspected of planning terror attacks have been arrested in Belgium, prosecutors say.