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17 Mortifying Stories That Will Make You Feel Better About Your Love Life

~Hides in a corner for eternity~

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1. Submitted by jennyw12.

One day in fourth grade I wasn't feeling well before school, but my dad's rule was: "Unless you're bleeding or puking, you're going to school." We were playing volleyball in gym class, and my crush was right behind me. What I thought was just tummy rumbling turned out to be poop. I pooped my WHITE pants right in front of my crush, and he yelled out: "Ew, did you poop?" I ran to the bathroom to clean myself off and, of course, several girls walked in while I was standing there in my underwear. I made up a story about my mom spilling coffee on them and I just noticed. I was too embarrassed to walk into the nurse's office to call my dad to ask him to take me home because I crapped myself. So, I went back to class and sat in my poop pants the rest of the day. BEST. DAY. EVER.

2. Submitted by jenny-bethnolanc.

The first crush I had was in the fourth grade. One afternoon we were lined up next to each other at recess. I was wearing my favorite tank top that day and wanted to show it off to get his attention. This meant I needed to take my sweater off. Well, in doing so, my shirt got stuck to my sweater, and my training bra was in the wash that day. I was known as "The Flasher" for the rest of the year and he never spoke to me again.

3. Submitted by Kayla Brigham (Facebook)

In middle school I had five out of my six classes with my crush, AKA the love of my life. I didn't realize until I got home that I got my period. I was wearing khakis. No one told me. Eff you middle school.

4. Submitted by suzannei2.

I was 12 years old at summer camp, and I had a crush on a camp counselor. We were at the lake learning how to swim, and we had to do an obstacle course to pass so we could start jumping off the docks. I passed no problem, and noticed that he changed shifts with the other counselor. So, wanting to be suave, I decided at that moment to saunter out of the water. I managed to get halfway out before I was stung by a jellyfish. Instead of just running onto the sand and getting medical attention, I ended up freezing. By the time he ran and got me, my foot was covered in stings, and he had no choice but to pee on me in front of everyone there. I was called "pee girl" for the rest of the summer, and I couldn't even look him in the eye after that.

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5. Submitted by Alicia Brigham (Facebook)

My crush snuck up behind me while I was practicing ballet and I accidentally kicked him in the balls.

6. Submitted by Lizzie Rickard (Facebook)

I was working at Walmart in the bakery and was pushing and pulling racks of day-old baked goods to the back. There were two huge racks, one in front and one behind. I saw these cute guys who gave me a smile. I got closer and thought: "Boy, it would be a great idea to do a sexy I-am-too-cool-to-talk-to-you hair flip as I walk by!" So, I got right up on them, flipped my super long hair, which promptly threw me off balance. I stepped on the wheel of the rack ahead of me, my hair got caught in the rack behind me, I lost a shoe, and the racks and I went tumbling down. Doughnuts, bread, and cupcakes spilled out everywhere. The guys cracked up and I ran away from the mess. I claimed I was severely injured and went home.

7. Submitted by Carolyn O'Donnell (Facebook)

Once I pocket dialed my crush while I was driving and singing the Wicked soundtrack at the top of my lungs. When I finally realized what I had done, I looked at my phone and heard him laughing on the other end. So not only did I pocket dial him, but he stayed on the other end long enough to laugh at me. I think I made up some story about how my sister was in the car with me and we were singing together... I was horrified.

8. Submitted by Emma Campbell (Facebook)

I went to a carnival with my group of friends, and one of them was my crush. We went on this big ride (it was a circular-shaped ride, and my crush was sitting right across from me). I felt really sick because of another ride I just went on, but I didn't want to chicken out on this ride. The ride started, and I felt 10-times worse; it swung back and forth, and we weren't getting off anytime soon. My friend's boyfriend leaned over me to talk to her, and his breath was awful. I was really struggling to keep it in, but I didn't. I puked all over myself while making eye contact with my crush. I was mortified.

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9. Submitted by bghacker3485.

My crush and I were on a field trip at an indoor roller hockey rink in eighth grade. I body-checked her into the boards, and she split her lip. BUT it worked out, 'cause I got a hand job in the back of the bus from her on the way back to school, and I married her five years later.

10. Submitted by William Buhagiar (Facebook)

I was shopping at Bed, Bath, and Beyond one afternoon, and I was set to go on a date with my crush later that evening. I saw one of those marshmallow guns that shoot out mini marshmallows at the store and then texted him to say we'd have a marshmallow fight later that night (I was half-serious). I thought it would be cute and funny if I shot a marshmallow at him the moment he came to pick me up. I was waiting outside when he pulled up and rolled down his window. I then shot a marshmallow towards him. Suddenly, he was screaming and yelling: "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" because I accidentally shot it straight into his eyeball. It took a good five minutes for him to inspect and make sure that I hadn't done permanent damage, and the date began with about 15 minutes of tense, uncomfortable silence, interrupted by my occasional meek apology.

11. Submitted by Jo Tauber (Facebook)

The girl I had a crush on was teaching a small, free Latin dance class. I went to the class, but there was an odd number of people. When it came time to pair off, I was on my own, so my crush offered to partner up with me. We started dancing, but I was super nervous, which for some reason made me salivate. At one point, she held her hand at about chest level so I could put my hand in hers. I tried to say something but ended up drooling and spitting into her hand instead. On the plus side, she was pretty chill about it and just wiped her hand off and kept dancing with me, but I never did get a date.

12. Submitted by Sandi Jasmer (Facebook)

I was walking to my car with my crush in the fall - we were going to a Halloween store to look for costumes. On the way out to my car I stopped to pick up a stick and said aloud: "What a great stick." And then, in my head, I said "this stick would make the perfect wand for my Harry Potter costume. My crush, only hearing the first half of what I meant to say, looked at me like I was crazy and remained silent. I tried to explain myself, but it just wasn't happening.

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13. Submitted by lyns714.

There was this guy who I crushed hard on for a few months, and the only person I trusted with the information was my mom. I had a couple of classes with him so one day he asked me if I could tell him about any assignments he missed for sports. Well, one day, I needed to tell him about an assignment after school, but he was already walking across the street. I chased after him and called his name. Just as I tried to wave him over, a group of seven students riding bikes crashed into me. My crush helped me call my mom so she could take me to the hospital, but before he could even tell her I had been in an accident, she threw me under the bus about being in love with him. I tried crawling into the street so I could be run over by a truck.

14. Submitted by Maddi Lewis.

In fifth grade, we did a musical that was basically a medley of other musicals, and we could choose our own costume based on one of the musicals. I, of course, owned a poodle skirt, so I dressed as someone from Grease. During rehearsal one day, I was showing off my kick-ass poodle skirt in front of my crush by spinning around, and the skirt betrayed me and FELL DOWN. You best believe that I dropped to the ground so fast and pulled that thing up before you could say "Greased lightning!" I never spun in that skirt again or wore it, to be honest. CURSE YOU, POODLE SKIRT!

15. Submitted by alexb119.

When I was 14 years old, I made a very nice picnic to take out on to the golf course right behind my house for my crush and me to enjoy. The only way to get out there from my backyard is to hop my four-foot wrought-iron fence. It just rained, so things were still slick. I offered to hop the fence first to show how adventurous I was; I got one foot on the fence, and the next thing I knew, my mouth was full of dirt. I fell face first, legs straight in the air and down to my doom. My crush just stood there, wide-eyed, and didn't move until my mom came running out to ask if I was alive.

16. Submitted by travis0017.

When I was 14 years old, I was showing off on a jet ski for my crush. One "trick" I did brought the jet ski and myself under water. My sinuses started to loosen up from all the water, and since it was a cold day, I was a little numb. I didn't feel the big, white, windblown string of snot stretching from my nose to my jawline as I cockily walked past my crush on the dock.

17. Submitted by mandir2.

My mom needed to stop at Walgreens and I wanted to stay in the car, until I saw the back of my crush's head at the cash register. I went inside and acted surprised to see him and continued to act aloof so he thought I was sexy and mysterious. Maybe it worked or maybe it didn't, but I'll never know because my mother came blaring up the counter to buy Always Super Maxi Jumbo Pads and vaginal cleanliness cream. PADS AND VAGINA CREAM. I nearly died.

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