13 Drunk Horror Stories That'll Make You Give Up Alcohol Forever
What happens in Vegas stays on BuzzFeed.
We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the most ridiculous thing they've ever done while drunk. Here are the sloppy results.
1. Submitted by laviolaw.
"I got on stage at a T-Pain concert and drunkenly twerked in a leopard print skirt. Mid-twerk, I realized my AMF drinks weren't sitting right in my stomach. I started to spin and grab onto whoever was nearest, and spewed a rancid blue geyser of vomit onto T-Pain's security team and the front row. They picked me up and carried me offstage, and I screamed: 'LEMME BUY YOU A DRAAAANK' at the top of my lungs. I accidentally kicked a girl covered in my blue vomit in the chin on my way out. My friends locked me in the backseat while I was covered in animal-printed blue shame, and went back to enjoy the rest of the concert."
2. Submitted by Amy Desrosiers (Facebook).
"Recently my boyfriend and I walked home, very intoxicated, and a skunk graced its presence beside me. Being the stupid person that I am, I ran with my arms flailing and made elephant sounds. This obviously alerted the skunk into spray mode, and my poor boyfriend got sprayed before he could comprehend the whole situation. He had to take three days off from work because of the smell."
3. Submitted by Britt Ingram (Facebook).
"Short and sweet: I bought $150 worth of novelty neckties at a gift shop on the Las Vegas Strip."
4. Submitted by Kiki Penoyer (Facebook).
"At my 22nd birthday party I sat in the middle of a ring of 10 people, curled around a metal wash tub someone magically found. I cried because I was too drunk to remember how to vomit. My friend had the brilliant idea that, in order to vomit, I would need to eat. He went and got me a loaf of bread, and I cried harder because I couldn't remember how to eat, either. He tried to re-teach me how to eat by asking: 'Do you know the movie The Social Network? Well, Bread here wants to make you feel better. One might say that Bread wants to be your friend, so you have to add Bread to your social network in order to feel better.' He put two slices of bread into my hand with a solemn look. I nodded, wadded the two slices of bread into a ball in my fist, and shoved the entire thing into my face. Thirty seconds later, I threw this bread-wad back into the wash tub, and everyone in the circle cheered and clapped for me. Two other friends tried to get me to go home with them because it was 'The most beautiful puking they'd ever seen.'"
5. Submitted by Erin Day (Facebook).
"On New Year's Day, I woke up on a strange couch with no panties and a condom wrapper next to me. I was holding a puppy, with a temporary tattoo of a giraffe on my boob."
6. Submitted by stephanier43.
"I went to Las Vegas for my friends 21st birthday and drank 3/4 of a bottle of vodka before leaving the room. I had to take off my six-inch heels while walking from the Luxor Hotel to the Bellagio Hotel, and I fell in the bushes outside of the Bellagio trying to put them back on. I successfully flashed 25 people who were walking by at the time. I then walked into the bank and was immediately kicked out because I wouldn't put my shoes back on. I needed to use the restroom, and once I got in there, a woman proceeded to stick her finger through the ripped hole in the back of my very tight dress. I got a taxi back to the Luxor, puked twice in the lobby, and then fell asleep in the bathtub of our room."
7. Submitted by Emma Drummond (Facebook)
"One time, one of my friends at a convention decided it would be fun to get an 'I'm tying the knot, buy me a shot!' headband and pretend it was her bachelorette party. We ended up trading around, and somehow I was the last person to get it when I was already pretty well in. I'm a really fantastic liar when I'm drunk, and I started telling anyone who would listen about how I met my fake fiancé seven years ago, and how I never thought I'd get married so young. I even started giving a girl who was in a relationship the same length as my pretend relationship advice. I also got into a heated argument with someone who said I needed to have more sexual experiences in my life. I responded that I was perfectly happy with my fake fiancé, and we had a great sex life. I ended up drinking three shots and blacked out somewhere for a while."
8. Submitted by chelsea822.
"My best friend and I dressed up as Spongebob and Patrick one year for Halloween. We ran around all night singing The FUN Song, and tried to catch people in our jellyfish nets. Then, we climbed fences taller than we were to get into an empty field to continue our jellyfish extravaganzas."
9. Submitted by michellecarpentierp.
"My friend and I met some British dudes at a bar one night, and they invited us back to the luxury yacht they worked on. We went to the coast guard station, the only place big enough to dock the ginormous boat, and boarded with these complete strangers. The owners of the boat stayed in hotels in the cities they docked in, so it was only staff onboard. They fired up the hot tub and brought out bottles of champagne with glasses. After drinking and a little making out, we wanted to see the boat. My friend and I stumbled down a spiral staircase while carrying gold-rimmed champagne glasses; my friend's glass fell, and it sliced her thumb open. Yes, we willingly got on a boat with complete strangers and might have been murdered. But, I get to say I drank champagne on a $40 million yacht."
10. Submitted by believeale.
On New Year's Eve, I showed up with a bottle of UV Vodka and proceeded to drink half of it on a dare. Later at my best friend's house, her boyfriend started to throw toys at me; I picked up this plastic Hulk toy, and threw it at his head but he dodged it. I ended up shattering his balcony window.
11. Submitted by Chanel Griggs (Facebook)
One night in January, I was at a party, standing outside, and the guy I was crushing said hi to me on his way inside the house. I was so excited that I decided to jump up and down. Too bad the ground was all icy, because I ended up slipping and hitting my tailbone right on the corner of the curb. It was one of those falls where no one laughs and immediately asks if you're OK. I immediately went into the fetal position. Obviously my friends wanted to take me home, but I didn't want to leave the party without my cute crush. So, I decided to stick an ice cold beer in my upper butt crack area to numb the pain, and continued to enjoy the party. Hashtag college.
12. Submitted by jnip18.
My [now] husband and I were at a Brad Paisley concert, and we both got very drunk. During the concert, he decided to get down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said yes, but I knew it wasn't real because he didn't have a ring. We then decided to call everyone in our contacts to let them know we'd get married on Thanksgiving, which was two months after the concert. The next morning, we ran into one of the friends we went to the concert with. She congratulated us, we asked her for what, and she responded: 'You don't remember getting engaged last night and calling everyone to let them know you were getting married on Thanksgiving?' Nope, it completely slipped our minds. We had to do an official Facebook update to let everyone know that if they got the call last night, to please disregard the marriage proposal. A few years later the official proposal, and marriage, happened."
13. Submitted by sarahalli489.
"Last night, I drank a bottle of wine with my fiancé while watching Shark Week. For some magical reason, I thought it'd be funny to stand up, run around the apartment, and pretend to be a pirate. I then retreated to the bedroom where I stood in front of the mirror and started peeing all down my leg and all over the carpet. I ran to the bathroom to clean myself up and grabbed the carpet cleaner. When my fiancé asked what I spilled, I told him not to worry about it. Sigh."