Women Are Sharing The Reasons Why They Don't Want To Have Kids, And I Think Everyone Should Listen Up
"I love my husband and our life together. Kids wouldn't improve any of that."
1. "I’ve known I don't want kids my entire life — I dislike everything about children. I don’t want to put myself through pregnancy, and I don’t want to put all of my time and money into raising one. It’s not my dream or my passion, and there are millions of other people out there who can do that instead. I will live my life how I want, just like they do."
2. "All my life I’ve never wanted children, but I’ve always had to deal with people telling me I'll change my mind. I’m turning 30 soon, and to no surprise, my mind hasn’t changed! It makes me question why people want my mind to change when I’m so passionately against this decision — if I had a kid, I would regret it."
3. "My husband and I have nieces and nephews and every time we visit them, we realize just how much we value our freedom. After spending only a few hours with them, we're always mentally and physically exhausted. We love that we can travel on a whim, take a nap when we want, spend money on fun things, and drink when we want. I was worried that if I went my whole life without having children that I'd feel a void, but as time goes on, I feel like I don’t need them to have a wonderful life. I enjoy being married to my husband, I love our life together, and I love my career, and in my mind, kids wouldn’t improve any of that."
4. "I decided not to have children, and I think I would have been a terrible mother. I have no problem believing I would give every ounce of myself to care for a child — I just know I'd burn out. I know I'd neglect my own needs and I’d be unable to function — I also don’t want to make another me. People ask things like: 'Don’t you want to make someone with your kind of intelligence?' I live in this brain, and I would not want to inflict my depression, anxiety, and OCD on my kid, so no. 100% no."
5. "I personally don’t want kids. I have too many health issues that take up all of my energy. I also just don’t want kids — period. I was an only child and unfortunately I wasn’t around kids growing up, and now as a teacher, I know I couldn’t do it. I don’t have that in me, and that’s okay. I don’t feel ashamed for knowing that."
6. "Even when I was a young girl playing 'house,' etc., having kids was something I never wanted. A former coworker years ago said I was selfish for not having kids, and while I wanted to tell her to fuck off, I kindly told her that bringing a kid into this world I didn't want was selfish."
7. "It bothers me that women are raised to think having kids is what they’re supposed to do. Once, when asked whether I wanted kids or not, a woman tried to literally convince me I would want children one day. I had to argue with her politely that I wouldn’t. I have never wanted them — I’m 35 and that isn’t going to change. I wish people would sit down, think, and let themselves decide whether they want kids or not without any outside influences."
8. "My ex-fiancé pressured me to have kids when we first started dating at 18 years old, and if I'd given in, I would now be stuck with a 15-year-old. I've never wanted children — I've lived through my half-sister's baby years, and it was nothing but screams and smells."
9. "I don't want kids because I've been caring for my mom who's been bedridden for a few years, and I don't want to put myself through something similar ever again. When people hear this, they ask me if I want someone to care for me when I'm old, and they tell me my mom would've been lost without me. I wouldn't want to put my kid through the life I've had, and I definitely wouldn't have a kid 'just to be taken care of when I'm old.'"
10. "I don't want children (never have, never will), and there are a number of reasons for that, but one is that I have a lot of health problems. So not only would I not be able to physically care for a child, but I'm pretty sure they'd also have health problems, too. That doesn't seem to be a valid reason to a lot of people, and it apparently makes me selfish. 🙃"
11. "I am 50 and chose not to have children. Now that I’m older, I thankfully don’t hear the 'you’ll regret not having children' speech. I’m very content with my decision, as is my spouse of 25 years. I love and care for my rescue dogs, and that is fulfilling enough for me."
12. "I know that my parents resent me for being born and essentially ruining their marriage. My mother does love me, but I have always been able to tell that it's only because she has to. I can say with complete confidence that I don't want kids. I wouldn't have the emotional strength to deal with them, and I know I'd resent them, too. It just wouldn't be fair to anyone."
13. "My husband and I have the 'kids' conversation all the time. We do not want children right now. We've been married for seven years and don't see ourselves having a baby for a long time, if ever. People ask us all the time when we'll have children or why we don't (disrespectful questions, by the way), and often make us feel bad for not wanting them. I know that because I don't want them right now, I wouldn't be the best mom for them. I don't want that for them."
14. "I knew I didn't want to be a mother since I was 16 years old. I would say out loud 'I am not having kids' and I would get the 'you'll change your mind' response. I guess it's fair enough when I am that young, but I am 37 now, and I'm still getting the 'are you absolutely sure?' question. Yes — I am sure."
15. "My biggest fear about having kids is not liking them. I LOVE other people’s kids, but I am so scared of not liking my own...I just don't want to risk it."
16. "For some reason, because of COVID, this is the first time in my life no one has argued with me when I've told them I don't want any kids — it's like I'm finally being heard. When I was 6 years old I told my older cousin: 'I don’t know why people have kids, they should just buy more dogs,' and I still feel the exact same way."
17. And "I'm nearly 38 and I still don't want kids — I never have. Honestly, the thought of another person being dependent on me for the rest of my life absolutely terrifies me. However, not a single person in my life who matters has ever questioned my decision; they all accept me for me, and that's the way it should be for everyone. I can't imagine a child knowing their parent doesn't want them."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.