Recently, Reddit user u/Any_Floor_4178 asked the men of the Reddit community, "Guys who've slept with other guys' girlfriends: Did you feel bad afterward? Why or why not?"
They all had different experiences and emotions about the whole thing, and honestly, it's pretty eye-opening to hear their side of the cheating story. So here's what some of them had to say:
1. "Yeah, I did it one time (sadly, I knew she was in a relationship). I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship myself that ended because my significant other cheated on me, so a part of me feels like it was some sort of mental revenge. It was kind of like an 'I’ve been wronged, so I don’t care if I wrong someone else' sort of thing. The next morning I felt like complete shit, and I still feel awful about it."
2. "A recovering fuckboy here: No, I did not feel bad afterward because I hated myself and I wanted to prove I was lovable. So if I could get attention through the barrier of her being in a relationship, then it was just extra proof that I had value (plus, I could prove to myself that relationships weren't real). I wasn't the one who couldn't be valued by someone else — everyone was just lying about being 'happy.' There were definitely other circumstances, but it always pretty much boiled down to me equating my value as a person with who I could have sex with. I went to therapy and have been happily married for 12 years now — I recommend it."
3. "I ran into an old girlfriend at a college bar. Things went as things do sometimes, and she stayed the weekend at my place, and we had some marathon sessions. I was cold-ghosted after that, and I found out that she was engaged and her wedding was the next weekend. I honestly vomited and tracked down the groom’s parents, as I could not track down the groom himself. His father was angry but appreciative of my honesty. The groom eventually called me, and the wedding didn't take place."
4. "I was that guy when I was in high school and in my early 20s. I wouldn’t actively pursue someone who was in a relationship, but if I met a woman at a bar or a party and she came onto me and I found out later she had a boyfriend, that was her problem — not mine. It was the 'It’s not my responsibility to keep you faithful' type of mindset. I wouldn’t continue seeing them after, but I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it, either. I’m in my late 30s now, and looking back, I realize it was an awful way to behave. I’m lucky nothing bad came of it, but at the time I didn’t care."
5. "I hooked up with a woman at my gym — she didn't say anything about being married, and she always came to my place the two times we hooked up. I saw her again at the gym with a dude, and when he went off to go do something, I went over and said hi. She told me not to talk to her at the gym with her husband around, and said she'd call me later. She did, and told me her husband worked out of town a lot, and when he was in town she was with him, and when he was gone, she was free to do as she pleased. We did not meet up again."
6. "I did it knowingly during high school. I was dating and she was too, but we both had issues in our relationships and we didn't know how to figure them out. Clinging onto our toxic relationships, we found solace in each other and enjoyed spending time together. We ended up fooling around, and after we had sex, we both stopped. We stayed friends for a while and both continued dating, but eventually both of us were single. I regret it; he doesn't know about it, but I told my girlfriend and she accepted my apology (even though we did break up about a year later). I'm not proud of myself, and I still hate myself for it."
7. "I'm gonna be really honest here: For a long time, I did not care at all. If she wanted to fuck around with me, fuck it — not my sin, not my problem. She's either got problems with her guy or she doesn't take her relationship seriously — I'm not fixing either of those problems, but I can fuck. So this kind of shitty behavior on my part went on for many years. I've slept with quite a few women who were in various stages of relationships (some more serious than others), and I left a wake of destruction. Relationships failed when I came around, and the women were left to pick up the pieces while I moved on and didn't give a fuck."
8. "My buddy cheated on his girlfriend at a party in clear view of a dozen other people and me. He was browned-out drunk getting a blowjob in a hot tub. I opened the back door and yelled, 'Un-mouth that penis! It is spoken for!' He got pissed, put his shorts back on, and tried to yell at me for not being a 'bro.' He said I should have helped him cover, as if I could somehow prevent a dozen people from looking in the backyard. I told him that if he wanted to fuck up his life and cheat on his gorgeous girlfriend, then just go for it, but I wouldn’t be around for him. The next day, he came clean to his girlfriend, stopped drinking, and thanked me for stopping him from fucking up even more."
9. "I've been with three women who were cheating on their boyfriends with me, and I knew about it (they told me they were in a relationship, or I already knew they were). I was young back then and thought it was cool that I was able to 'steal' their girlfriends. I remember one time, one woman and I were lying in my bed naked and she was on the phone with her boyfriend, talking like nothing's wrong. She said she loved him while stroking my dick, when literally not even 10 minutes earlier, I had finished inside her. Again, back then I thought that was peak performance — I was proud of myself. After many years, I think back to those moments with so much regret (that one specifically — it's just so excessively cruel when you think about it)."
10. "I had a brief 'friends with benefits' arrangement with a woman who had a boyfriend. I didn't know the guy, and I was young and impetuous at the time. As time went on, I started to feel bad about it. It all came to a head when she told me she wanted to leave him to be with me, and I said no. She asked why not, and I said I couldn't trust her as a girlfriend. And when she asked why, I said, 'You've literally spent the last two months cheating on your boyfriend with me — why else would you think?"
11. "There was a bully in high school who tormented me for over three years and had a girlfriend throughout that time (he only bullied me when no one else was around). After graduating from high school, I went to college 50 miles away where most local graduates went — and lo and behold, my bully's girlfriend lived in the dorm building right next to mine. We struck up a conversation at a party one night, and I ended up hooking up with her on a regular basis for the rest of that school year. So, yeah, I slept with my bully’s girlfriend, and I have no regrets."
12. "Decades ago, when sex was everything to me and I was likely to do that sort of thing, I used to justify it by saying to myself that they were the ones cheating, not me. Now that I'm much older, I feel horrible for having done it. I really wish I could relive those situations and make the right choice."
13. "I hooked up with a woman who had a long-term boyfriend at the time — I didn't know, and we had a few encounters over a two-month period. One day, I was curious and decided to look at her socials, and that's when I found out about him (I never bothered to look before because it was my first time being in a 'friends with benefits' situation, so I was excited and wanted to keep it a secret). As I scrolled down her socials, all I saw were pics of them on expensive dates and trips, and I just felt so bad for the guy. I felt like I had become the thing I hated the most, so that same night, I decided to DM him about the situation and sent him texts to give him proof."
14. "I had an ex who told me that when he was in college, he met this woman who would lightly flirt with him, and he took it upon himself to really flirt back. Well, one day, things eventually escalated. They were at her house, he saw the photos of her husband and her kids, and he said, 'Fuck it — I don't care.' They had an affair for two years until she dropped him, and that's when he said she became a 'slut,' 'cheater,' etc. — I asked him if it was because she dumped him, and he said it was."
15. "I once slept with a married woman with complete consent from her husband because he eventually identified as asexual. He still wanted her to get 'that feeling,' you know? I actually really enjoyed it, and so did she. Her husband, on the other hand, wasn't happy about it afterward. From what I've been told, he got very insecure when he heard her moan loudly on the security cameras downstairs while looking through the footage."
16. And this: "Many years ago, I slept with a coworker several times who had a long-term boyfriend, and...I honestly didn't feel bad about it. We had an amazing connection, and it just sort of happened (and then it happened a few more times). Hypocritical of me, but she went away on an extended trip and I got the feeling that she was getting close to someone else. I still didn't necessarily feel bad — I just felt jealous, and that sort of snapped me out of it. She said she was going to come clean with her boyfriend, but I don't think she ever did. We hung out a few more times when she got back home, but I heard her lie to her boyfriend a couple of times on the phone about where she was."
"I didn't even feel bad for the dude — I just didn't want to deal with the situation, and I could see it wasn't headed anywhere meaningful. They ended up getting married, and I think they're still together. I don't know why I didn't feel bad; if anything, I look back and think, Man, the damage was done — I should have just slept with her more."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.