17 Babysitting Horror Stories That Prove Kids Are The Worst
"A 4-year-old chopped off my ponytail while I was helping their younger sibling."
1. The poopy underpants.
"Unfortunately one Monday morning, the little boy I babysat for pooped in his pants. It became aggressively full and led to a poop leak down his leg. I asked him to sit on his potty. Instead, he threw his poopy underpants at my face and ran through the apartment, leaving a brown liquid path. After spending an hour cleaning up feces, I cried on the phone to his dad and begged him to come home."
2. The leaking vent.
"The 6-year-old boy I was babysitting stormed upstairs because I wouldn't give him candy. Liquid started dripping on the dining room table from the ceiling. It turned out that pee was coming out of the air vent, which was directly connected to the air vent in his bedroom. I finally got him to stop peeing, and I went back downstairs to help his sister with her homework. Then I saw another substance hit the table. The boy was pouring liquid hand soap down the vent. When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, to clean it up of course.'"
—Exley Bookamer, Facebook
3. The blended hand.
"One day I was making smoothies with the two kids. After we were done, I unplugged the blender and stuck the washable parts in the sink. I turned my back, and all of a sudden I heard it come back on. The little boy stuck his hand in the blender and there was blood spewing everywhere. I rushed him to the ER because his hand was torn to shreds. It luckily ended up healing nicely, but it was still traumatizing."
—Diana Damawand, Facebook
4. The girl with the six-inch shears.
"After I put the three girls to bed, I heard a strange noise. I got to their bedroom just in time to watch the one girl reach under her pillow and pull out a pair of super sharp, six-inch shears. She slowly got up from her bed, stood over the other girls, and held the shears in her creepy little fist. I shouted, 'What are you doing?!' She turned around with the sweetest smile on her face, made direct eye-contact with me, tilted her head, and said: 'Don't worry, I was only going to hurt them.'"
—Jessica Turner, Facebook
5. The naked couch.
"My best friend and I were in charge of watching two young boys and a baby girl who lived in our neighborhood. The two boys popped in their favorite Disney movie. After it was over, we tried putting them to bed. The boys refused to go to sleep, so they decided to take off all their clothes and chase us around the house. At one point, the older boy got so tired that he sat on the couch and proceeded to stick his finger up his butthole, while staring directly at me. I never babysat again."
—Sarah Phelps, Facebook
6. The Christmas ornament snack.
"My 2-year-old cousin walked over to the Christmas tree in my house, smashed a glass ornament, and then swallowed it. Blood was spewing from the back of his throat, and he didn't seem the least bit bothered. I immediately called my mom to come over, and we spent the next 12 hours waiting for him to heal in the hospital."
7. The dildo in the closet.
"I was the seeker in a friendly game of hide-and-seek with the two younger boys. When I tried to find them, I heard a buzzing noise coming from their parents' bedroom. I walked in and the older of the two boys came out of the closet holding a huge blue vibrating dildo. He was freaking out because he had no idea what it was, and it wouldn't turn off. Thankfully we turned it off, put it back in the closet, and I never told their parents what the boys found. I still laugh every time I think about it."
8. The poop Picasso painting.
"I walked upstairs because I smelled something pretty funky. The middle child was potty training, so he was still trying to get the hang of it all. From what I smelled, he definitely didn't make it to the toilet in time to do his business. I finally opened the door and saw that he pooped all over the floor. He also wanted to get it off of his underwear, so he smeared it on the walls and blankets. They had a carpet, so it was an absolute joy trying to clean it out."
9. The awkward foot rub.
"My neighbors always used to call me to babysit their 8-year-old son. One time, he touched my feet and proceeded to tell me that they made his penis stick up. I ignored all of their phone calls after that."
10. The condom candy.
"When the children were building a fort out of couch cushions, they came up to me and asked if they could have the candy they found under the cushions. It turned out that it wasn't candy, but rather their parents' secret stash of condoms. I politely said they could not eat them."
11. The disappearing boy.
"A random kid came over the house at 10 p.m. because the children's parents supposedly invited him over to play a board game. Once they finished playing the kids told me that I had to walk the boy to his house. I freaked out because I didn't know anything about him, let alone where he lived. He said he was going to make me take him back, and when I tried calling the parents, it didn't go through. I made him stay the night and every five minutes or so, he walked downstairs to where I was watching TV with a plastic knife and just stared at me. When the parents came home at about 2 a.m., they said that they had no idea who the kid was. We went upstairs to check on him and he was gone. I basically survived a horror movie."
12. The pet raccoon.
"This one family I used to babysit for had a pet raccoon that they kept inside the house. The little girl let the raccoon out of its cage. It ran up my body, and perched on my shoulder. I couldn't get the raccoon to detach its claws from my shirt. "
13. The porn game.
"I took on the difficult task of babysitting overnight for three days in a row. As I was playing with the 5-year-old girl, her two older brothers were supposed to be playing upstairs. I went to check on them, and they were gone. I searched the entire house and eventually found them in their dad's office watching porn, cheering it on like a football game. I waited until the parents got home to tell them. I didn't know what to expect for a reaction. The dad started smiling and said he was relieved they were watching girl-on-girl porn. I walked out because I couldn't handle it."
14. The boob bull's-eye.
"For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to let the children play with Nerf Guns and darts. One of the kids shot my boob with a dart and immediately shouted, 'I got you in the boobies!' He started to laugh as I clutched my chest in pain."
15. The impatient hairdresser.
"A 4-year-old cut my ponytail off because I was too busy soothing a crying baby to watch him play with a pile of boxes. That was enough for me."
16. The sock stuffer.
"When I was 16 I naively took up a babysitting gig for six kids. Three of them were under the age of 7, and the other three were going into middle school. They were told not to have cake until their parents got home, and of course they didn't take that too well. So, they all decided to pull me to the ground and get on top of me. The youngest one grabbed socks and shoved them in my mouth. I couldn't do anything to stop them. I told their parents and they all had to write me apology letters."
17. And the ripped belly button.
"I just had my navel pierced the day before I started babysitting for the first time. I told the kid he needed to do his homework, but I guess he wasn't happy with taking orders. So, he ripped out my new little belly ring and spit in my face. Never again."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.