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1. An actual, gorgeous, beautiful, amazing Dundie Award they deserve to own for having the whitest sneakers, AND for being the hottest in the office/the bus(h)iest beaver.
2. A Prison Mike car air freshener so bad smells stay far, far away from their ride...as well as the dementors. Yo, that really is the shizzle.
3. A set of 15 stickers from the most iconic scenes — and they need them all. Did I stutter?! I said they needed them ALL!!!
4. A Finer Things Club sweatshirt that'll be perfect to wear while they snuggle up with their favorite book, or heck — while working out at Dwight's Gyms For Muscles.
5. A The Office-themed ~mystery box~ filled with goodies they'll love picking through. Not as good as an app that can deliver all your messages to every platform at once, but close enough. Close enough.
6. A Dunder Mifflin baseball cap so they can go out and kick some corporate butt at their next office baseball league game.
7. A Dwight pin to remind you 'em to pause before you do something and ask yourself, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, they do NOT do that thing.
8. A t-shirt that'll give them the confidence to go out and start their own paper company and then trick their old company into buying out their secretly failing startup — or somethin' like that.
9. A Dunder Mifflin version of Guess Who so they can take game nights to an entirely new level (maybe even ~Dinner Party~ level). Well, happy birthday to you — sorry your parties are *not* lame.
10. And! CLUE, The Office edition where their entire job, besides being assistant TO the regional manager, is figuring out *who* killed Toby Flenderson, with *what* office weapon, and *where* in Dunder Mifflin the crime took place.
11. An iconic pillow cover for adding some no-nonsense charm to their couch. Anyone who walks into their house and reacts is a person they want to keep around!
12. A Dwight Schrute bobblehead they can display alongside their stapler-in-jello. Perfectenschlag.
13. A cute alphabet poster where each letter represents a special/hilarious moment from the show. *Swoons and also tears up* at the letter N.
14. A decal set for anyone who knows the three pillars of life... The THREE things that keep this world turning: Bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactica.
15. Or! If they want to rep bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactica in their every day life (completely fair, and honestly expected), a soft cotton t-shirt starring an adorable bear. This tee really has it all.
16. A very simple and must-have mug so they can continue to practice their swallowi—THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
17. A not-your-average "in this house" print that'll probably catch their guests off guard — but they won't care! They want people to be afraid of how much they love them.
18. A Dunder Mifflin book and mug gift set with different illustrations of the best show moments. After they read this book, they're guaranteed to be the best version of themselves — the best boss...and the best improv actor. <3
19. A Creed Bratton appreciation shirt featuring his iconic face in even more iconic moments. In this power outfit, they can be their own worm guy.
20. A "Serenity by Jan"–inspired candle you can actually customize with their favorite scent and color, and even a personal label. I think had Jan offered up custom candles like this, more people would have invested that 10k — just sayin'!
21. A Schrute Farms sweatshirt they'll definitely need this winter, because it definitely ~beets~ all the other sweaters sittin' in their closet.
22. A self-adhesive sign so evvveeeryone knows where their loyalty lies. Stick it on their door, put it on a cake, or dare I say their George Foreman grill!!!
23. Mini pillows available in tons of relatable moments from the show. I am talkin' teeny plumps of Nard dogs, big tunas, and of course — beets.
24. The entire series of The Office on DVD because you just can't trust anyone, especially corporate giants, to keep their favorite show on streaming services. Now they can have the show right at their fingertips, just like it is in their heart. ♥️
25. A sequin pillow that looks so normal and discrete — oh wait! There's a Dwight!
26. And just to keep with the Dwight theme here, a disturbing t-shirt featuring possibly the most disturbing (but greatest!!!) scene in the entire show. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive...
27. A simple print that'll add a nice touch to their desk decor and give them some Michael Scott-level confidence at work...which could be a good or bad thing, tbh.
28. And lastly, a lovely card to give to the person who completes you. *Points to my person, draws heart, points back to myself.*
The Office will forever be the best show.
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